HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
"Your Regardation Is Our Compensation"

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: August 15, 2026 at 07:01 PM EDT
Subject: The $2 Trillion Regard Machine

Fellow regards and premium doormats,

The market spent the week doing its best impression of a slot machine with a PhD in psychological warfare, dishing out -115% to anyone who screen-recorded their P&L. The sub's newest futures trader got laid off and immediately took up gambling; one commenter replied, "We're hiring," which is somehow both a meme and a threat. On to the money:

ANTHROPIC: The AI mania's newest goddess needs a $190-200 billion 2028 revenue forecast, per Reuters, to justify a record IPO valuation that could reportedly reach $2 trillion. The sub translated Q2's 14-fold revenue surge as from one dollar to fourteen dollars, and one regard has already offered to create the entire $200 billion via Claude.

YOU ONLY LOSE IF YOU SELL: The week's most enduring philosophy lesson comes from a portfolio down 115% with the title "You Only lose if you sell," and the top commenter distilled the strategy: if you can't handle the -50%, you don't deserve the +2%. A laid-off futures trader started "investing" with his savings, and the sub's greeting was "you belong here." For anyone asking how to recover, the advice is simple: call client service and ask for a refund, say you misclicked.

SPY/QQQ: One degenerate turned $900k of 0DTE SPY puts into a retirement announcement that the comment section already knows is a lie, while another lost $178k YTD being a bear on QQQ and SPY puts. The sub's best advice to the bear was "you made back $146 today so you're good," which is compassion in a language we understand. A third regard was auto-exercised into 1,100 QQQ shares worth $800k and is now praying Monday doesn't crash.

MICHAEL BURIED: Michael Burry is getting buried in meme format after betting against a company that said it already sold its entire 2027 inventory — "a depth of regardedness found rare even here." His long positions are apparently cooked too, per the sub: Lululemon, DraftKings, MercadoLibre, Zoetis. The verdict: washed, one-hit wonder, underperformed SPX for 20 years.

JANE STREET / SITUATIONAL AWARENESS: Reuters says Jane Street took a $15 billion July hit tied to the AI selloff, but the sub's suspect is Situational Awareness — its filing shows 56% in SNDK and MU with leverage — just a WSB port with a Bloomberg terminal. After a forced sale to Citadel, the only difference between that and your 0DTE degeneracy is the zero count.

NVDA/OPENAI: WSJ reports Nvidia scaled back its $250 billion funding guarantee for an OpenAI data center in Ohio, and the sub's first words were "Goodbye Sunday futures." Optimists say the funding shifts to Texas, pessimists say "bubble crackling," and one comment flags OpenAI's CRO resigning right after a leak put OpenAI ARR at $40B. When the shovel seller starts walking back the IOU, the circular financing machine starts sputtering.

MASTERCARD/SOFI/V: After a 'global' Mastercard outage left shoppers with declined cards, the sub's response was "Believe it or not, calls." SOFI dropped to 16 "because why not", crypto shills screamed BE YOUR OWN BANK, and one user declared "hacked by AI confirmed." Visa 4 life.

SPACEX: Another lockup is coming this week, and with Google holding a stake worth over $90 billion, the sub is split between "overvalued AF, just like Tesla" and "calls it is." Forbes counts nearly a billion shares that haven't arrived yet, meaning the last lockup rally may have been retail high-fiving itself prematurely. "Valuation doesn't matter these days" remains the motto of everyone still holding.

CBOE: Cboe is expanding options trading hours starting Monday, so regards can now go bankrupt at 3am. Reactions range from "excellent news for my crippling addiction" to "just make it 24/7 already," plus one west coast degenerate already complaining about the new hours. Progress.

OIL: The resident oil perma-bull is back with a thesis: Iran wants to spike crude to win the midterms, both straits are blocked, and his play is to go long oil. The top comment was "Man thats a lot of words. Wish I knew how to read," and another regard reminded everyone we've been three weeks from running out of oil for a lot of weeks now. Barron's is now whispering that an oil supply shock threatens to reignite inflation, so the broken clock may finally get its moment.

WMT/HD/LOW/BABA/TGT/BJ: The weekly earnings thread's official calls: HD down, KLAR puts, LOW puts, TGT flat, BABA puts, WMT calls, based on "autism and vibes." One degenerate asked if Walmart has a 2x leveraged ETF, and another demanded calls on BJs. Walmart reflects the economy, which is the closest thing to a fundamental thesis we've seen all week.

HTZ: One degenerate netted +$15k fading the HTZ meme, cutting a 13k loss before re-entering puts and watching HTZ crater on Friday. Someone else did the opposite and also profited, because this market hands out participation trophies to everyone except the guy holding until -115%. One commenter's only complaint: "they rugged that shit so hard."

To summarize the week in the kind of clean thesis Hindsight Capital charges 2-and-20 for: the market is pricing in a 2028 that none of us will survive, and the only hedge is to buy Anthropic at the IPO and sell it to your kids. We will be doing what we do best — reading the sentiment, inverting it, and blaming the lizard people when it doesn't work. The good news: Cboe now offers bankruptcy at 3am, so you can lose money at a more convenient hour for the west coast. Keep your Wendy's apron pressed.

Stay solvent (somehow),

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management