HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Your realized losses are our leading indicators.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 24, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: The "In Principle" Peace Deal and Other Fairy Tales We Bet Our Rent On
My Fellow Financial Fire-Starters,
The casino is closed for Memorial Day, but the brain rot is operating at an all-time high. The general market mood is a cocktail of existential dread and unfiltered aggression, as we collectively realize that the agricultural revolution was a mistake that led directly to LinkedIn and 0DTE options. While the adults are grilling brats, our analysts are staring at blurry JPEGs of earnings reports hoping for a miracle. Between Cramer potentially having a stroke on air and the Strait of Hormuz opening and closing more often than a bathroom tap, the only thing we know for sure is that money is fake.
COST: The sentiment is violently bullish for the simplest reason possible: the hot dog is still $1.50. Forget the PCE or CPI; as long as that processed meat tube remains affordable, the apes are all in.
SPCX: Elon’s SpaceX IPO is being hailed as the greatest pump and dump in human history. With index providers rewriting rules to fast-track inclusion, we are officially the exit strategy for insiders. It's a scam valuation, but that won't stop the protective shorting from squeezing it to infinity.
DELL: The "everything is computer" crowd is betting that Dell is going to the moon, mostly because it’s being endorsed by tacos. When the AI hardware cycle meets Mexican street food, you don't ask questions; you just buy obvious calls.
RDDT: One unemployed scholar wrote a dissertation on why you should baghold this bitch. Despite being a compounding machine for data licensing, some still think it's hot garbage propped up by bots and porn exposure.
AMD: Known alternately as the "Advanced Money Doubler" or the money destroyer. Bears are currently getting roasted by gamma as they try to roll covered calls that are deep in the money and burning a hole in their portfolios.
USO: Betting on oil right now is basically a game of ping-pong between the U.S. and Iran. The "agreement in principle" to open the Strait is likely a giant headfake for insiders to dump oil futures on your unsuspecting forehead.
SIVE: This speculative play has people chasing a 10000% gain on the back of "secret" Fortune 100 lasers. It's either the future of AI data centers or a deliberate pump-and-dump.
CRM: Sentiment is a toss-up between strong beats and puts for the obvious. Investors are torn between believing Marc Benioff is a genius or a scammer.
NVDA: The NVDA to 250 crowd is currently being banned for losing bets. The Capex economy is supposedly at an all-time high, and bears are salivating for a hard crash once the ROI on these shovels turns out to be zilch.
AAPL: Investors are finally asking why no one talks about Apple, treating it like the final boss of the market. It’s a "safe" play for people who want high leverage without the volatility of a Swedish semiconductor start-up.
ASTS: Some responsible adult claims this will lead to a comfortable retirement, while others are just all in on space because they like the pretty pictures of rockets.
HPQ: Someone with more money than sense just dropped a 52k share YOLO before earnings. We are praying for their character development.
EBAY: Mentioned mostly in the context of unsuccessful "half-stock" tender offers to local "service providers." If your call girl threatens to gut you, it's probably a sign that your valuation is off.
If you’ve actually booked any gains in this fantasy novel of a market, please do yourself a favor: go get a colonoscopy (apparently, it’s not for pussies), buy some umbrella insurance to protect your tendies from parasites, and for the love of God, keep your mouth shut about your profits so your family doesn't treat you like a personal piggy bank.
Stay solvent, or stay weird.
Creative Sign-off,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management