HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy High, Sell Low, Blame the Algos.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 26, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Euphoria is a Utility and We’re All Out of Tokens
My Dear Fellow Degenerates and Future Inhabitants of the Wendy’s Dumpster,
We find ourselves in a market so peak euphoria that a one-trillion-dollar company can moon 20% in a afternoon while the world’s biggest cities are hypothetically being nuked. It’s a beautiful time to be alive, assuming you aren’t a cocky bear currently being assaulted by the market. While the wage slaves worry about AI taking their jobs, our investors are busy gambling on the very tech that will replace them. Earnings season is limping to a close, but the degeneracy is just getting its second wind.
[MU]: The absolute crown jewel of the portfolio. We’ve entered a new class system of millionaires and MUllionaires. One regard has promised to permanently alter his anatomy if it hits $1k this week, while others are hitting mythical 30x returns on 7% phone battery. Of course, for every legend, there’s a guy who lost $115k shorting the rocket because he thought he could outsmart a freight train.
[AMD]: Our lead "John Value Investor" is currently sitting on an account with +$11M, proving that titanium hands actually pay off. While the rest of us sold at $12, this absolute unit is making $1.8 million in five days just by existing.
[ZS]: A total dive bomb. Bears are printing money on this one after it dropped 17% post-earnings. It’s a tale as old as time: when WSB gets too bullish on Zscaler, you grab the puts and prepare for the crater.
[LUNR]: To the moon? More like to the mid-20s. The stock tipped over faster than one of their landers after NASA decided to let Bezos deliver the space-SUV. Apparently, $LUNR is now cooked because they can’t seem to stay upright.
[CRSR]: The latest YOLO of choice. Apparently, adding RGB lights to a data center is "insanely bullish." Some of you managed to pump the stock 12% just by talking about it, proving that we truly are the masters of our own bagholder destiny.
[RACE]: Ferrari dropped a 600k electric toaster that looks like a Nissan Leaf with a botched body kit. Shareholders are not impressed, as the car looks like it’s ready to shit out a real Ferrari.
[SNDK]: Another memory play printing tenders. Between $SNDK and $MU, the memory sector is creating a new wealth gap for anyone smart enough to buy calls while Samsung and Hynix pump the leverage.
[DELL]: Still going to the moon thanks to the endorsement of "Mango". Everything is a computer now, and apparently, that means $DELL is a "sell the news" play that refuses to stop pumping like mentos in a coke bottle.
[COST]: We are all in because our analysts had a hot dog and it was "so good." No DD required when the processed meat is that reliable.
[UBER]: The COO is whining about tokenmaxxing costs, while the rest of the world realizes that measuring productivity by tokens is the ultimate sign we’re in a hydrogen blimp of a bubble.
[RKLB]: A heated debate over whether this is overvalued as fuck or a pure space play. It’s a $30 stock being sold for $135, but logic is dead and momentum is king.
[SPACEX]: The Space Force contract is just "hush money" and election hacking funds according to the tinfoil hat brigade. But with the IPO imminent, we’re all just aspiring bagholders ready to give Elon our 401ks.
[APPS]: You dirty girl. Up 18% after hours because apparently, someone actually used Digital Turbine this quarter.
[NVDA]: Just casually photobombing every success story while the "smart money" tries to explain covered calls to girls at Applebee's and gets banned for life.
[PEP]: Some absolute genius bought Pepsi because they "sell more chips than anyone" and is wondering why his portfolio is flat while the semiconductor chips are flying. You can’t make this up.
The market will continue being bullish as long as the sentiment stays sufficiently retarded. If you find yourself wanting to inverse yourself, remember: even if you do the opposite, you’ll still lose money.
See you at the dumpster,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management