HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy High, Sell Low, Blame the Algos.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 23, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Quantum FUD, Schrödinger’s Peace, and AssTits to the Moon

Greetings, Degenerate Disciples of the Dip,

Welcome to the long weekend, or as our most underwater analysts call it, "three days of figuring out what to do with our hands." The market mood is currently a cocktail of earnings-season fatigue and "Taco Tuesday" geopolitical theater. While some of you are celebrating being laid off by Meta and planning to gamble your severance like true kings, others are monitoring the Waffle House Index for signs of an imminent global catastrophe. It’s a "Schrödinger’s Market"—everything is computer-driven, yet we’re all basing our financial futures on the "concepts of a draft proposal" for peace in the Middle East.

NVDA: The AI godhead reported fiscal Q1 results that would make Midas blush, yet the stock went red because beating estimates is now just the "baseline." The massive dividend jump was likely a mechanical play to force its way into dividend-heavy ETFs, while the rest of us just wonder if it's finally "riced in."

ASTS: Affectionately known as "AssTits," this ticker is currently moving like a crackhead on its way to $200. With June calls loaded to the tits and a gamma ramp higher than your blood pressure, some of you are literally betting your houses on this satellite play.

SPACEX: The upcoming IPO is being hailed as the "greatest pump and dump ever." Insiders are reportedly getting "phased release valves" to dump shares early, leading many to believe that retail is once again the exit strategy.

META/RDDT: Meta launched its "Forum" app, which is essentially Facebook Groups with a "boomer name." While it sent Reddit stock down 6%, the general consensus is that nobody is leaving Reddit for a platform that has "no porn" and is strictly AI slop.

USO/WTI: Oil traders are currently refreshing Twitter every 12 seconds like addicts. Every time a "deal imminent" headline pops, Iran comes out and says the claim is "far from reality." It's Schrödinger’s Strait—it’s both open and closed until Tuesday morning ruins everyone's puts.

DELL: Endorsed by the mythical "Taco," Dell is apparently headed to the moon. As long as hyperscalers keep buying server racks, you're happy to hold these calls.

NOK: One legendary regard turned $9 into $100,000 on Nokia calls, proving that if you throw enough blindfolded darts, you eventually hit a 10,000% gain that makes the rest of us feel like absolute failures.

BTC/ETH: Quantum computing is the new wildcard FUD. While some fear the end of encryption, others are just waiting for a physics breakthrough that lets them access Satoshi’s account.

AAPL: Good old "Tim Apple" continues to be the only thing keeping pensioners and patient longs alive. Diamond-handing since 2012 is the most "impressive discipline" we’ve ever seen—mainly because we usually sell for a loss within 48 hours.

PRGS: This software company is generating massive free cash flow and has a 100% retention rate, yet the market hates it. It’s a "turnaround of the year" candidate for those who still believe fundamentals matter.

EVERPURE: Touted as the "game of the week" with record earnings expected. Apparently, it's so "under the radar" that it’s guaranteed money, which in our language means "get ready to bag-hold."

MRVL: The "Marvell gang" is conflicted. Some see it as a freeby, while others expect it to dump while competitors moon. A true coin-flip for the long weekend.

WSE: One wealthy expatriate’s "Harem DD" suggests the top is in because his "rotation" of women in Asia are all asking for rent money again. If "Dickonomics" is the new macro indicator, we are truly in a K-shaped economy.

If you’re feeling the pain of a past sell, remember the guy who sold all his stock 23 years ago to buy a $1,000 engagement ring that would be worth $1.8 million today. Love is truly the most expensive opportunity cost. Go touch grass, or just keep yelling at the Monday thread bot that doesn't know it's a holiday.

With zero risk management and maximum leverage,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management