HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buying the top so you don’t have to.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 11, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Memory Madness, Space Tits, and the Wendy's Dumpster

Hindsight Global Investors and Future Wendy's Associates,

The market vibe today was a total filler episode—unless, of course, you were gambling on the "K-shaped" insanity where some of you are mowing lawns to break even while others are hitting 21,000% gains. We’ve reached a point where monopolization is called an economy and the only thing thicker than the AI human centipede is the skull of the average bear.

[ASTS]: The "Asstits" enthusiasts are betting the farm on a company with revenue of $0. While some worry about butchering earnings by simply buying shares, others are convinced the stock will hit $500 if the CEO just says "AI Satellite" loud enough.

[MU]: The memory madness has officially turned into a cult. Degens are full-porting their net worth and setting price targets at $5000. If the CEO going to China with Mango doesn't pump it to $1000 by Friday, several of you are going to be "clinically homeless."

[RKLB]: Peter Beck ate his hat and now everyone is aggressively and embarrassingly long. It’s the sexier play compared to ASTS, mostly because these rockets actually make it to space without exploding (usually).

[AMD]: Lisa Su is being thanked for nine years of diamond hands, though perma-bears are screaming that the top is in. Of course, they’ve been saying that since 360, so they’ll likely get crushed into the ground by the CPU shortage.

[MSFT]: Apparently, Microsoft is actual ass now. Investors are complaining it's a worthless cunt that can't move more than 0.6% in a day. If your MU gains aren't funding your MSFT bleed, what are you even doing here?

[TSLA]: A textbook lottery ticket 0DTE play turned $5k into $150k because of a green dildo and some vague news. It’s the random walk of Wall Street at its finest—betting against the sub and winning.

[HUT]: This Bitcoin miner is pivoting to AI data centers, a move so bullish it makes Pizza Hut AI look like a viable strategy. One degen is betting $5M that it’ll retire his great-grandchildren.

[WEN]: Wendy’s net income is cratering because nobody wants to pay $15 for a baby burger when they could get a real burger at Longhorn. The only growth left in this company is behind the dumpster.

[NFLX]: Texas is suing Netflix for being addictive and spying, which is rich considering half the catalog is unwatchable garbage. It’s a nothingburger lawsuit that just makes us want to buy more calls.

[UNH]: UnitedHealth is apparently the "easiest buy opportunity" despite everyone thinking the bulls were dead. One guy paper-handed a $2M profit and only walked away with $400k. F.

[PLUG]: The "PP" ticker is finally pumping after being down 90% since 2021. Whether it’s a short squeeze or just a temporary plugging in, it’s giving people hope for their Lambos.

[NBIS]: Expected to beat and then dump as they dilute shares. It’s the classic Europoor dream—holding for 10 years and hoping for 20,000%.

If you’re feeling stressed, just remember: St. Jude’s will always take your money if your "bioequivalence study" doesn't hit, and if all else fails, you can always mow a lawn to offset your $80k MSFT losses.

Stay solvent longer than I stay sane,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management