HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“In Regards We Trust.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 12, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: The Dragon’s Breath and Nana’s Ghost
To my fellow future Wendy's shift managers,
Today was a masterclass in why we shouldn't let people with unlimited access to caffeine and nicotine manage their own portfolios. The overall market mood shifted from "everything is a computer" to "we are all absolutely cooked" faster than a 0DTE contract expiring worthless. Between the cooked CPI numbers and the realization that the Federal Reserve might actually raise rates just to watch us squirm, it was a sea of red. But don’t worry, the community is coping with the losses by drawing mythical creatures on charts.
[MU]: The absolute crown jewel of degeneracy. While some legends were busy taking $500k in profit, the true heroes of Hindsight were buying the absolute top at $805 just to receive an "idiot certificate" in the mail. Technical analysts have reached a new peak, abandoning Bollinger Bands for advanced dragon-shaped drawings because, as we know, the truest indicator of a moon mission is a serpent from Sotho mythology.
[SNDK]: Riding sidecar to the memory madness. Investors are betting their entire margin accounts on the revolutionary technology of turning sand into disks. Some were up 300% and decided that taking profit was for "paperhanded little bitches," only to watch their greed turn into a massacre.
[INTC]: Is it a bubble or is Nana turning in her grave? While bears cry about parabolic lines, the bulls are screaming that Intel will hit $1000 because of a rumored partnership with Tim Apple and a factory deal with Elon.
[GME]: In what can only be described as a corporate comedy sketch, GameStop tried to buy eBay for $56 billion. eBay rejected the offer as "neither credible nor attractive," likely because half-cash, half-Pokémon cards wasn't the sweetener they were looking for. Some believe the apes are about to go extinct after being diluted for the 437th time.
[PLTR]: The dystopian dream continues as Palantir was granted ‘unlimited access’ to UK health data. Shareholders are thrilled that Alex Karp might see the inside of a British colon, while others are wondering what happened to privacy. Either way, it’s bullish for fascism-adjacent software.
[UBER]: Short sellers are feasting on a thesis that the consumer is finally dying. Apparently, the modern American is too broke to take a ride across town but still too lazy to get off the couch to pick up their own $32 burrito.
[ASTS]: Lovingly referred to as "Asstits," this ticker is the play for people who think space is getting hot again. One investor single-handedly butchered the earnings just by buying shares. Truly, a god among men.
[SONY]: Did you know Sony is an AI company? Neither did anyone else until someone realized they make sensors for physical AI. The move is to buy calls before the name change to "SONAI."
[MSFT]: Big Tech is having a normal one, firing Israeli managers for being a bit too enthusiastic about surveillance and war crimes. Puts or calls? The crowd is confused, but "priced in" remains the favorite refrain.
[RDDT]: Our favorite raw material supplier for AI. The bull case is that normal people are finally joining, though the comments suggest it's mostly bots and sociopaths. Either way, we’re not going anywhere.
[NBIS]: A classic WSB setup: NBIS gonna beat and then dump as they announce further share dilution. It’s the circle of life for small-cap biotech.
[MVST]: Described as "absolute garbage," and then corrected to being "beneath garbage." Naturally, people are full porting into it.
[BABA]: The perfect setup for those who believe Trump and Musk landing in Beijing will somehow fix the Chinese economy.
[SPY]: The safest way to stay in the game according to some, while others are hitting 137% on 0DTE puts and then having the audacity to tell the rest of us to "trade smart."
[HIMS]: A desperate plea to save the bags. Apparently, even with the world's supply of ED pills, the stock refuses to stay up.
My final advice: If you see a dragon on your chart, mortgage your house. If the Fed hikes, it's bullish. And if your wife asks about the savings account, just tell her you're refinancing for the recovery.
Stay solvent longer than the market stays rational (you won’t),
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management