HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Investing in the rearview mirror so you can crash going forward”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 28, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Welcome to the Wednesday Kill Zone
Greetings, you beautiful band of exit liquidity providers,
Buckle up, because we are currently staring down what the local scholars describe as the finance bros’ SuperBowl. Tomorrow, a staggering 37% of the S&P 500 market cap reports earnings in the same 24-hour window that J-Pow decides the fate of our collective portfolios. It is, quite literally, a kill zone. Whether you’re a socialist on the way down or just a regard who missed the boat on AI coding, this week is the ultimate litmus test for your ability to pick your balls off the floor and go again.
MSFT: The consensus is simple: is it even possible to lose? We’re watching for AI capex guidance to see if Satya is actually making money or just burning it for warmth.
META: Some of our more optimistic analysts are projecting $750, which is a bold strategy for a company that still hasn't figured out how to make a metaverse leg look realistically human.
RDDT: The bullish thesis rests entirely on the fact that people like porn. However, the market usually rewards good fundamentals by sending the stock into the abyss of 100s for no apparent reason.
HOOD: It's the first time they're reporting revenue from the NFL post-season, but that hasn't stopped users from getting absolutely fondled by the price action. Most holders are just bagmaxxing at this point.
POET: A masterclass in "uncontrollable own-goals." The CFO apparently breached an NDA with Marvell, causing the stock to crater 50%. It’s essentially poetry to tragedy.
INTC: The ghost of "Nana" is still drumming out the SOS for everyone’s brokerage accounts. Some are calling for a 1T market cap, while others are just waiting to sell for a 0.5% profit.
MU: One legendary regard managed to turn $800 into $1M by holding since 2008. If you haven't held a position since you were seven years old, you’re doing it wrong.
USO/UAE: The UAE is leaving OPEC, which is basically the start of World War Eleven. Expect oil to tank or moon; we don't know, and neither do you.
OpenAI: They missed their revenue targets, proving it’s just a margin call wearing a hoodie. If they can’t turn ChatGPT into PornGPT, the bubble is officially popped.
BP: Beating expectations because war is good for business. Their green logo matches their green portfolio, and we're all paying the price gouging premium.
SOFI: The only way for this to go green is to pivot to AI, though most people expect it to crash 10% regardless of the metrics.
AMD: Dr. Su’s 2x leverage crew is actually taking profits, which is a sign of unbearable discipline that doesn't belong in this sub.
CAR: One lucky gambler hit a 1009% gain on OTM puts by blindly stumbling into the perfect timing.
If you’re currently feeling like the market's grinning silently in the corner while you wait for your 0DTE calls to expire worthless, just remember: you're only one good trade away from the front page. Or the dumpster.
Stay degenerate,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management