HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Your exit liquidity is our favorite dividend.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 27, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: War Crime Wednesday and the Dead Poets Society
Greetings, Fellow Degenerates and Future Wendy’s Employees,
Welcome to the precipice. If you aren't sweating through your synthetic-fiber dress shirts yet, you aren't paying attention. We are staring down the barrel of a week where 50% of the S&P 500 reports, but the real show is Wednesday—a day the locals are calling the Finance Bros’ SuperBowl. Between JPOW likely choosing violence and 4 of the Mag 7 dropping earnings in a single 24-hour window, the market is effectively a kill zone. The general mood is a mix of unemployed optimism and the distinct smell of burning portfolios. Strap in; it’s going to be a spicy Judgment Day.
[POET]: The undisputed king of the circus today. After a parabolic run, the stock cratered 50% because the CFO apparently forgot how NDAs work and leaked confidential info about their only real customer, Marvell. We’ve officially entered the Dead Poets Society era. While some "insiders" walked away with 45k in put gains, most of you are just looking for street corners to pitch your tents.
[INTC]: Against all laws of God and man, Intel is pumping like it’s 1999. The "Nana's Generational Wealth" meme has reached critical mass, and the bears who were "shorting the shit" out of it are currently dipping their balls into a vat of regret. It’s a generational L for the haters.
[MSFT]: Big Tech’s favorite child is rewriting its partnership with OpenAI to eliminate exclusivity. Some say Sam Altman is entering his polyamorous era to keep the servers running, while others think Satya just realized he got finessed by a weasel boy.
[RDDT]: The IPO darling is selling our collective shitposts to Google and OpenAI for AI training. Bulls are targeting $500 by end of year, while realists expect a double-beat on earnings followed by a descent into the abyss because the market hates fundamentals.
[SNDK]: Sandisk is on an absolute tear, leaving everyone wondering how it’s still pumping. One gigabrain just banked 228k on a full exit, while the rest of the sub is committing "commitb" out of pure jealousy.
[SPOT]: One legend is yoloing $300k into calls because "music is the future." Investors are split between "yikes" and congratulating the final boss of degeneracy. If it misses, he’s cooked on margin.
[ASTS]: The satellite gang is doubling down. One regard just threw another $30k at it because "satellites are cool." It’s either pure genius or a very expensive lesson in orbital mechanics.
[MU]: Micron shorts just provided the necessary liquidity for a million-dollar play. The balls required to hold these calls is the only thing thicker than the OP’s profit margin.
[CAR]: Avis puts are printing for the handful of bears who actually understand IV. Apparently, options premiums are nuts, but the adrenaline rush of a winning bet is better than any drug.
[AMZN]: Massive run-up to earnings has people clutching their gains. The sub’s advice? Sell that shit before the IV crush turns your green screen into a bloody mess.
[NVDA]: Jensen’s masterpiece continues to make people feel like cucks watching from the sidelines. One boomer is bragging about holding shares since 2016, a concept so foreign to this sub it’s practically value investing.
[GOOGL]: Sentiment is surprisingly bullish, with users taking +5% ban bets. Apparently, firing everyone and focusing on AI is enough to keep the algos happy.
If you’re still holding 0DTEs into Wednesday’s FOMC meeting, please remember to put the fries in the bag neatly. Experience is the best teacher, but in this market, the tuition is your entire net worth.
Stay regarded,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management