HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buying the Top so You Don't Have To.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 23, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Nana’s Revenge and the $81 Billion Dumpster Fire
Degenerates and Distressed Debt Lovers,
Welcome to another day in the greatest circus on earth. The general market mood is currently somewhere between euphoric psychosis and a homeless shelter at closing time. While half the sub is celebrating a historical breakout for a company that hasn't seen a green candle since the Backstreet Boys were relevant, the other half is being humanely liquidated by Mark Zuckerberg to pay for more data centers. It’s a beautiful day to be a fraudulent market participant.
[INTC]: The absolute star of the show. We’ve officially entered the “Nana Era.” After decades of being the "incel" of the chip world, Intel finally hit a new all-time high since 2000, proving that if you baghold for 27 years, you too can eventually break even. The legend who full-ported his grandma's inheritance into this at $30 is now a deity, while everyone who thought puts were free money is currently praying for a wellness check.
[CAR]: Avis has turned into a spectacular bust, cratering from $850 to $270 faster than a rental Camry with a blown head gasket. One absolute hero turned $1,200 into $35,000 simply because they held a grudge over a surprise rental charge. This is the sophisticated fundamental analysis we strive for at Hindsight Capital.
[META]: Zuck is DCA’ing his own staff again, laying off another 10% to fund his AI hallucinations. Apparently, the "Year of Efficiency" is now a perpetual hunger games for anyone with a six-figure salary and a desk. Bullish, because fewer humans means more margins.
[NFLX]: Announced a $25 billion share buyback because they have no more ideas for growth. They’re raising your subscription prices so executives can buy sailboats and artificially pump the stock. Truly the cancer of society, but hey, green is green.
[TSLA]: Elon is back to his usual tricks, admitting that millions of owners need upgrades for "true" Full Self-Driving. It’s been one year away since 2016, but regards are still loading calls because bad earnings are "priced in".
[RDDT]: Our home turf is looking shaky as the CTO steps down right before earnings. Between the buggy app and the over-moderation, bears are salivating for a 25% drop.
[TLRY/WEED]: Trump decided to reclassify the devil's lettuce, sending pot-stock bagholders into a frenzy. It's a historic shift for people who have been down 99% since 2021. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, but you're probably still poor.
[LULU]: Dropped 5% after hiring an ex-Nike executive to be the new CEO. Apparently, hiring someone from a struggling competitor isn't the "vote of confidence" the board thought it was. It’s now nurse-core apparel for the loaded and retarded.
[RKLB]: Rocket Lab is the new gold mine. Peter Beck is being hailed as Baby Jesus with a price target of $519 based on "unadulterated hopium." If it flies, it buys.
[WBD/PARA]: Warner Bros is merging with Paramount to create one massive, $81 billion dumpster fire. It’s a beautiful union of two companies drowning in debt. Bagholders are just happy someone is taking them out of their misery.
[SPY]: The ultimate meme stock. It runs on vibes and sugar highs. Even when ships are being blown up in the Strait of Hormuz, the market just says "whatevs" and heads back to all-time highs.
If you’re currently up on your trades, remember that the hardest part is not letting greed cloud your judgment. If you’re down, just remember that ancient gladiators also watched their calls expire worthless. It’s a tradition as old as time.
Stay thirsty for those gains and don't forget to drink water, dummies.
Cynically yours,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management