HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“We’re only right after the fact.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 22, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Tacos, Top Signals, and Taking Nana to the Shadow Realm

Greetings, Fellow Degenerates,

Welcome to another day in the world’s most expensive casino. The general market vibe is currently a fugazi cocktail of geopolitical slop and earnings-induced psychosis. Between the Mango extending ceasefires in the Middle East and ships getting seized in the Strait of Hormuz, the market has decided that bad news is bullish and revenue misses are upward catalysts. We are officially retardmaxxing our way to a New Era of Finance where fundamentals are as real as your girlfriend’s interest in your 0DTE plays.

TSLA: Elon continues to prove that being a cult leader is better for your stock price than actually selling cars. Despite revenue tanking 9% YoY and earnings being a complete miss, the stock is pumping because bad earnings were apparently "priced in." If you bought puts, there's a line forming behind the Wendy's dumpster.

INTC: The ghost of Nana is being summoned yet again. We have one absolute mad lad YOLOing $700k into shares at what looks like a generational top. Whether Intel sends Nana to the shadow realm or $75 is still up for debate.

NOW: ServiceNow decided to beat earnings and then immediately drill into the earth’s core. Management is blaming the Middle East conflict for their guidance, but the consensus here is that they should change their name to "Not Now."

SAVE: The "Party of Free Markets" is reportedly nearing a bailout deal for this discount dumpster fire. The stock jumped 30% on rumors of the government taking a significant stake. Nothing says capitalism like socializing the losses of an airline that doesn't even give you a free carry-on.

LULU: In a genius move, Lululemon hired a former Nike exec as CEO, and investors rewarded them with an immediate 7% drop. Apparently, hiring people who drove a competitor into the ground isn't the "bullish" signal the C-suite thought it was. Maybe they should pivot to AI yoga pants.

UNH: Finally, some green for the healthcare regards. While some were overloading on calls, others were calling it a "garbage dump." For now, the bulls are beating the bitch out of the bears.

CAR: Avis (CAR) had a rough morning, seeing a massive 45% drop. Some chickened out with small gains, while others rode puts down for a six-figure payday, thanking institutional "silly fucks" for the exit liquidity.

POET: This penny stock is actually becoming a real company, much to the shock of anyone who first heard of it 5 years ago. One investor is holding until Long Term Capital Gains kick in, assuming Uncle Sam doesn't spend it all on airline bailouts first.

ORCL: Proving that you should always inverse Reddit, one smart guy followed bot advice to land a 10-bagger. The only thing stopping the rest of us from these gains is our lack of capital and our abundance of chromosomes.

NVDA: We found the king of the buy-and-hold strategy. A $2M gain from shares bought at a split-adjusted cost of $27. Naturally, the only logical advice is to shove it up his butt or YOLO the stack on 0DTEs.

SPACEX: Elon is reportedly eyeing a $60 billion acquisition of the startup Cursor. The consensus here? It’s a VS Code wrapper that isn't worth a fraction of that, but who needs food or water when you have autonomous space lasers?

NFLX: Since they've already enshitified the platform with games and mind-rot shows, they’re now cloning TikTok and Reels. Puts are the obvious play, but given how this sub works, that’s a Strong Buy signal.

At this point, if you aren't fighting for your life on every trade, are you even really trading? Remember, the market ponzi only goes up—until it doesn’t.

May your gains be fat and your tacos be unlimited.

See you at the dumpster,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management