HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Our Performance is 20/20, Even if Your Vision is Legally Blind.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 14, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: The World is Burning, but the Green Line Must Go Up
Greetings, fellow degenerate liquidity providers,
We are currently operating in a retardmaxxing regime where the market is completely divorced from reality. SPY just ripped nearly 10% in two weeks because a random fart of a negotiation hit the news cycle. Despite the Straight of Hormuz being double-blockaded and PPI numbers that were clearly cooked by the Michelin starred chefs at the BLS, the bulls are winning so hard they’re actually apologizing to the bears. Logic is dead; strap on your shit-stained underwear and get ready to buy the top.
SPY: It’s literally free money until it isn't. We are 1% off all-time highs while bears are throwing rocks at oil tankers in a desperate bid for escalation. Most of you lost money on the way up anyway, so welcome home.
NFLX: The launch sequence is initiated. With tech earnings season kicking off, expectations are high for record profits and another price hike, though some of you are suspicous of the low IV and ready to puke if it tanks.
GSAT: Bezos just dropped an $11.5 billion satellite bag to fight Musk. Regards who held through the pain are up 300%, finally proving that shares are for building wealth while options are for losing your wife’s boyfriend's respect.
CL (Crude Oil): The paper market has a historic disconnect from physical reality. While the Strait is blocked by two countries, futures are dumping because you don’t understand basic math. Watching 10x leverage positions go to zero is our favorite pastime.
COW (Live Cattle): Beef is quietly breaking out and nobody cares because they’re too busy staring at oil. Ground beef is the new ribeye. Just don’t forget to sell your futures, or you'll end up with 300 head of cattle in your backyard.
RKLB: CEO Peter Beck took a $1 salary and filed for Neutron launch permits. It’s either incentive alignment or a desperate PR stunt to stop the bleeding from the SpaceX IPO gravitational pull.
SPCE: Speaking of space, the SpaceX sympathy trade is in full effect. One absolute legend dropped $145k on Virgin Galactic because the ticker sounds like SpaceX. It’s the monkey see, monkey do strategy that keeps us in business.
MOS: The sulfur arbitrage play that nobody is talking about. While global rivals are shutting in production, Mosaic is sitting on cheap Florida molten sulfur. It’s a mathematical path to $50+ once the market wakes up.
MU: Memory go brrrr. April 420 calls are up 169% and printing money as AI demand stays hot. If you aren't on this train, you’re missing the biggest surge of the year.
HOOD: The PDT rule is finally being scrapped, which is huge news for the poors. Now even more degenerates can lose their life savings and subsequent paychecks at 4x leverage.
JPM: Bank week is a joke. Jamie Dimon knocks it out of the park and the stock naturally drops 3%. Just avoid all banks, they’re never worth the stress.
HOOKER: Yes, Hooker Furniture is a real ticker reporting this week. We are buying calls because we have the humor of a 12-year-old.
At this point, you should probably just let the portfolio run on its own because nobody in this sub has any idea how finance actually works. If you’re currently down $400,000, take comfort in knowing that materialism is not the answer to life. See you at the Wendy’s dumpster for the late shift.
Stay insolvent,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management