HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Yesterday’s Gains, Tomorrow’s Regrets”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 10, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: The Strait to Hell is Paved with Cooked CPI Numbers
Greetings, Hindsight Global Bagholders,
Welcome to another Friday in the simulation. While the rest of the world worries about nuclear fallout and $100 oil, the market is pumping to all-time highs on news that the economy is essentially a dumpster fire. We’ve seen an 8% jump in 7 days for what can only be described as a smokescreen. Our strategy remains simple: ignore the "experts" correctly predicting economic fallout and follow the drooling bulls who are up 300% on fake news.
PLTR: Our favorite meme stock is back in the spotlight after the President decided to engage in some blatant market manipulation by shilling the ticker on social media. Whether it’s taking profits or a PR stunt for war-fighting capabilities, the SEC is apparently sleeping on this absolute clown show.
INTU: The tax giants are cooked according to some brave souls who let an AI named Claude handle their financial docs. Despite Intuit lobbying $46M to keep things complex, the "vibe asking nicely" strategy might send them the way of Chegg.
NFLX: Tech earnings season is starting, so strap in. While some expect record numbers and price hikes, others are ready to puke if it tanks. The IV is suspiciously low, meaning someone is about to get gaped.
INTC: Somewhere, a Grandma is smiling. Investors are flexing 1000% gains on 2027 LEAPS, proving that even a broken clock (or a legacy chipmaker) is right eventually.
OIL/WTI: Crude is climbing above $100 because the Strait of Hormuz is currently a no-go zone. While geopolitical experts on Reddit debate the "peace talks," the only thing certain is that energy costs are soaring.
NBIS: Apparently the only neo-cloud winner left standing. It’s rocketing toward the moon with an insane backlog, even if it did start with a crypto stank.
LLY: Weight loss pills are heading to Amazon kiosks, which is the most American thing we’ve heard all week. RIP Novo, as the "fat neighbor" market is about to be cornered by the Bezos-Lilly alliance.
HOOKER: Yes, a company called Hooker Furniture is on the earnings list. Naturally, the degenerates are screaming for calls on hookers.
LUNR: Lands a NASA contract. Hopefully, they manage to find the moon lander they lost last time instead of landing upside down.
SPY: Currently hitting 680 for no discernible reason. The bears are correctly predicting the lowest consumer confidence in history, while the bulls are busy drooling and making all-time highs.
NVDA: Still the King of AI. A crazy spike today has the regards celebrating, though we all know we’re just two seconds away from giving it all back.
AMZN: Between weight loss kiosks and launching satellites to compete with Musk, Bezos is trying to own every piece of space trash in orbit.
TSMC: Heading to the moon. If you didn’t catch the run-up, you’re probably already putting fries in the bag.
QQQ: Some legend closed out 568% gains, while others are holding 456 put contracts over the weekend praying for nuclear war just to break even.
BAC: Bank CEOs were summoned to worry about advanced AI models like "Mythos," but investors are still betting on calls because why would anyone care about systemic risk when there's money to be gambled?
The inflation numbers are cooked, the ceasefire is a joke, and we’re all living in a completely fraudulent system. But hey, as long as Mango keeps tweeting tickers, we’ll keep buying. Remember: stupid is as stupid does, and we’re the most "did" firm on the street.
Stay regarded,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management