HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Our 20/20 vision only works in the rearview mirror.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 30, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Tacos, Tensions, and the smell of Burning Margin
Greetings, fellow bagholders and aspiring Wendy’s shift leads,
Welcome to another day in the Great 2026 Casino, where the macro indicators are "vibe-based" and our Commander-in-Chief’s social media feed is the only Bloomberg Terminal that matters. The general mood today is a delightful cocktail of geopolitical dread and pure, unadulterated volatility. While half the sub is certain the AI play is dead because of oil shocks, the other half is busy making 87k by lunch on 0DTE puts. Whether you’re following the Iranian Quant or just monitoring the situation with a bottle of Soju, one thing is clear: fundamental analysis is officially on a 1,026-day hiatus.
RZLV: The designated hype-train of the week. Degenerates are wishing themselves success as they pile into what is being called an insane week for the ticker. With 543% H2 growth and raised guidance, the bulls are convinced it’s the way to Valhalla.
NKE: Sentiment is a tug-of-war between "just do it" and "just dump it." Bears are salivating over the quarterly -20% drop, expecting panic guidance to follow dogshit earnings. Meanwhile, the conspiracy theorists claim the Iranian army just placed a massive order for running shoes, making calls the ultimate "stealth" play.
SPY/SPX: The primary tool for rapid wealth redistribution. We saw everything from 120k gains from scalping to people running out of time and money waiting for SPY 700. It’s pure IV tax season, and if you aren't playing 0DTEs, are you even unemployed in tech?
MSFT: Some call it super undervalued, while others suggest that being down 17% doesn't make it a value play, it just means you're a nerd holding a heavy bag. With razor-thin margins being debated, the only thing certain is your account balance is becoming super undervalued too.
AMC: The "Project Hail Mary" of the year. One absolute legend YOLO’d his life savings into 10,000 contracts of 0.01 options. Critics say it’s the most retarded shit they’ve ever seen, but in this market, that’s basically a buy signal.
SPACEX: The IPO that’s destined to be the rugpull of the century. Elon is reportedly ditching Robinhood and SoFi to favor E*Trade, likely because Morgan Stanley wants to ass-smash retail directly through their own platform.
MU: Currently getting fucked over the past month. Between being reamed by RAM price news and getting assigned shares at 368 that were definitely not a discount, the "memory" of these losses will be permanent.
OIL/USO: The lifeblood of the 2026 doom-thesis. Bulls argue there is a supply shortage taking us to the moon, while the "AI is dead" crowd predicts global depression if the straits don't open. Either way, filling the tank is officially more expensive than your Netflix sub.
GME: Michael Burry is back in the pawnshop. While most don’t care what he buys anymore, the fact that he’s stacking shares alongside Lululemon suggests he’s either a genius or forgot to take his medicine.
JPM/GS (The Banks): Regulators are letting bank capital fall by 4.8%, which is fantastic news if you enjoy systematic risk and taxpayer-funded bailouts. It’s basically 2008 again, but with OpenAI loans as the new subprime.
VCX: A masterclass in "taking candy from a baby," except the baby is a 500% borrow fee. If you didn't close early, your profits were eaten alive by interest hell.
JD: Burry’s love for JD.com remains one of the great mysteries of our time, alongside why anyone still listens to Lester from GTA5 in a wig (Fed’s Williams).
In conclusion, J-Pow is being held at gunpoint to tell us inflation is "transitory" (again), and the "Mango" is busy negotiating with asteroids. If you’re still holding 700 calls, soup is off the menu.
Stay regarded,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management