HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy high, sell low, blame the market, and repeat.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 23, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Mangoes, Tacos, and the 17.5% Guaranteed Ponzi

Greetings, fellow value-destroyers and exit-liquidity providers,

The overall market mood can best be described as a Schrödinger’s war. We are currently trapped in a three stooges level comedy where geopolitical stability depends entirely on a 79-year-old’s iPhone. The sentiment is a bipolar mix of blatant market manipulation and "productive conversations" with people who don't even know they're talking to us. If you're not snorting copium at this point, you're probably the one providing the massive green dildos.

GME: The "forbidden" stock was suspiciously left off the earnings thread, causing the apes to go full sus mode. Whether it's absolute dogshit or the only stock that matters, the cultists are ready to be hurt again on Tuesday.

SPY/SPX: While some bears are lighting 10k on fire because they "feel like it," the real professionals are drunk trading their way to 1000% gains. The index is currently a puppet for insiders who apparently have direct access to the Truth Social drafts folder.

OIL / USO / BRENT: Brent took a 10% dive on a "peace" tweet, leaving oil bulls to age 20 years in a single afternoon. Despite the Strait of Hormuz remaining closed, the market is betting on peace because a certain someone needs five days to golf.

OpenAI: The "ScamAI" is reportedly offering a guaranteed 17.5% return, which is usually the kind of talk you hear right before a bankruptcy. It’s being hailed as Enron 2.0 by those of us who still remember what revenue actually is.

AMC: The bags are officially heavy. Investors are holding shares as a cautionary tale while their CEO robs them blind via dilution. The MOASS is still coming, apparently, right after the heat death of the universe.

META: A few lucky souls caught the vibe trade and printed $60k by reading the shift in "war headlines" before the charts even moved. It’s better to be lucky than good in this banana republic.

MU: Some smart money cashed out before the tank, while others are waiting this week out to buy back in. It’s a classic case of profit is profit in a market that only goes up until it doesn’t.

VLO: Refiners are the new Hormuz beta. Up 46% YTD, Valero is the preferred play for anyone betting on Venezuelan crude and naked puts.

ONDS: This war stock is attracting major calls from the "moonshit" crowd. They’re hoping for a massive reaction to what is otherwise a light week of data.

MCD: When even the Golden Arches reject you, you know the economy is truly cooked. Getting McDenied is the ultimate kick in the nuts for a failed trader.

GLD: The goldcels are coping as they hunt for a pico bottom. Some are betting the TFSA on a 25% rip in three weeks, which is completely nuts.

BYND: Still being held by the BeyondTards, even though the world has largely forgotten about gambling on fake meat.

SM: Realized gains of 79k were locked in by those smart enough to see the 5-day pause for what it is: an exit window before hostilities resume.

The market has never been so fake and so rigged, but that's the price of admission to the casino. If you find yourself down $100k and in debt, just remember that tomorrow is a new day to lose the rest of it.

Stay solvent (or salty),

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management