HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“If we didn't lose your money, someone else would.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 19, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: World War III is Transitory, but These Bags are Forever
Greetings, you beautiful bagholders,
The general market vibe today can best be described as "stagflation" meets "The End Times." Between Brent crude touching $119 and Qatar’s Ras Laffan plant smoking like a college freshman with their first vape, the mood is predictably retarded. We’re seeing 0dte gamblers turning $25k into $115k on "vibes only" while the rest of the sub prays to the money printer or considers joining the infantry to dodge their margin calls. It's a Dracula market where nothing happens while the sun is up, except for the occasional fraud green candle meant to liquidate your puts.
MU: Micron managed to crack estimates by 40%, yet the stock is dropping like a stone. Some are selling before Powell nukes the move, while others are just buying more shares to feel something.
LULU: The leopard print play is real. Sentiment is split between bulls stalking the LULU sub for Jersey Shore fashion trends and bears betting it goes below $160 because retail is a dumpster fire.
BABA: Profit dropped 67% and revenue is flatter than my fourth-grade girlfriend. They're trying to make AI happen to offset the fact that domestic competitors are eating their lunch, but it's giving off heavy Titanic deck chair vibes.
DB: The second domino. Bears are loading up on puts betting that emerging market debt will crush European banks faster than a Credit Suisse speedrun.
OIL/GAS: With European gas futures jumping 35%, investors are learning that "premium gas" is a lifestyle they can no longer afford. Some are betting on world peace, while others know Logic doesn't dictate this market.
CCL/RCL: The cruise lines are the next slaughterhouse. Between the fuel shock and the fact that nobody wants to cruise in a war zone, the industry is getting buried.
NVO: Novo Nordisk got FDA approval for Wegovy HD. Investors are unimpressed and waiting for the 4K version to launch before they stop losing money.
RIAL: The most genius bathroom arbitrage in history. The Iranian Rial is so worthless it's effectively a diversified wipe reserve for the coming global toilet paper shortage.
MVST: This ticker remains a reminder that this sub is the blind leading the blind. If you followed that DD essay, you're probably applying to Wendy's right now.
FED/JPOW: Rates maintained at 3.5-3.75%. Powell basically told the market "good luck everybody" while stagflation settles in like a bad houseguest.
SPY: The house of cards is wobbling. Vibe traders are loading up on puts because the entire economy is being held up by vibes and ketchup-bottle tantrums.
If you’re feeling skittish about the impending global collapse, remember: you can always go swole at the gym. If you’re gonna be broke when the war starts, you better be fit enough to run away from the draft board.
With zero self-reflection and a leveraged wipe fund,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management