HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“If it’s good enough to screenshot, it’s good enough to lose it all.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 16, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Space Chips, Leopard Print, and the Ghey of Hormuz
Humble Degenerates,
Welcome to the most retarded day of trading since the tariffs. The general market mood is a cocktail of war-induced volatility and delusional optimism fueled by the SEC’s plan to legalize fraud—sorry, I mean "optionalize" quarterly reporting. While the Strait of Hormuz is functionally closed, our analysts (a collection of bots and caffeine-addicted gamblers) are more concerned with 0DTE SPY calls and whether NVIDIA's space chips are the ultimate top.
[MU]: It is finally Micron’s week! Bulls are hoping they blow everyone at earnings as they ramp up high-volume production of HBM4 for the AI gods. Some are selling before close Wednesday to avoid getting nuked by Powell’s FOMC, while others think the call button should just stay permanently on.
[NVDA]: Jensen is out here pitching one trillion dollars in revenue on PowerPoint slides that look like they were made on acid. Even the bulls are flinching at "AI data centers in space," with some suggesting the top is definitely in because Jensen hasn't figured out how to cool a chip in a vacuum yet.
[NBIS]: The star of the show today after landing a massive $27 billion deal to provide AI infrastructure for Meta. It’s a circlejerk for the history books, and anyone who listened to the "morons" saying it was crap missed out on a 60% rally.
[USO/BNO]: We are currently witnessing a theatrical masterclass in port-incineration as regards buy puts on oil during the worst supply crisis in recent memory. While tankers are stuck at the Strait, YOLOers are betting 10k on peace and getting burnt to a crisp.
[META]: Zuck is firing 20% of the humans to pay for NVIDIA's expensive rocks. It's a pivot with a body count, and naturally, the stock is bullish AF.
[HIMS]: Our resident life-savings gambler is up $50k+ on shares after the Novo news. Sentiment is split between those screaming squeeze and those pointing out that taking advice from this regard is a fast track to the Wendy's dumpster.
[SPY/SPX]: The 0DTE casino is in full swing, with absolute madmen risking $1.3 million for a 60% return. Meanwhile, the tax man is coming for the "booty" of anyone not trading SPX for the tax advantage.
[LULU]: A classic case of stalking the leopard print sub. Some see international growth and call opportunities, while others believe that if girls aren't buying makeup, expensive yoga pants are next on the chopping block.
[MVST]: Microvast serves as a daily reminder that this sub is the blind leading the blind. One essay later, the stock dropped, and the retards who followed the DD are left holding the bags.
[PBR]: A jackpot of timing. What was meant to be a sweet dividend play turned into a war-profiteering yolo. Just watch out for the Brazilian political mess that could halve your port by Tuesday.
[GETTY]: Concerns are rising that AI bullshit is replacing real images, leaving the company in need of a miracle to avoid delisting.
[OKLO]: The sentiment is so shit that a contrarian pop seems inevitable. Despite horrendous earnings because they don't actually make money, they’re somehow a play for the Meta AI-Verse.
If you’re not down $100k this year, do you even lift, bro? Between the impending space chip top and the Strait of Hormuz coalition that consists mostly of rowboats, my advice is simple: just vibe trade. If the casino closes, stop losing money. If the casino is open, revenge trade until you hit a ten-bagger or the curb.
Stay toxic,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management