HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy high, sell low, blame the algorithms.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 08, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Hormuz Drifts, AI Benchmarks, and the Wendy’s Hiring Fair

Greetings, Bagholders and Potential Tax-Loss Harvestees,

Welcome to the Sunday Scaries, 2026 Edition. If your Face ID isn't working because of the tears, you’re in good company. Between the 4.4% unemployment rate suggesting the Wendy's line is about to get a lot longer and the Middle East turning into a high-stakes Fast and Furious sequel, the macro vibe is "prolapsed anus." While the rest of the world worries about WW3, our analysts are more concerned that Jim Cramer is bullish on Oracle, which is the only technical indicator that actually matters. Oil is raining from the sky, AI is failing basic maintenance tests, and we're all just one margin call away from total enlightenment.

[USO]: Crude is the new RAM, and the Strait of Hormuz is effectively a gay bar that no tankers can enter. With Iraq’s output dropping 60%, degens are loathing their missed opportunities to buy calls. If you didn't load up on 3x leveraged oil, you're officially fake and gay.

[ORCL]: Larry Ellison’s data center plans are going down the drain as OpenAI realizes they might actually have to pay their bills. Sentiment is split between those who think it will tank the market and those betting on deep OTM puts because the bubble is officially leaking.

[HIMS]: A literal hard-on for gains. The rumored Novo partnership has shorts ruining their weekends as the stock pumps 40%. Some call it "fake it till you make it" final boss energy, but a 40% short interest means this squeeze could double.

[KBR]: Labeled the unkillable government cockroach, this ticker is a play on the fact that the US Army can't function without them, even after decades of bribery and fraud settlements. It’s the closest thing to a real moat if you don't mind the "war is lucrative" ethics.

[NFLX]: Bulls and bears are fighting over whether this stock is allergic to 100. While some are shorting it for no apparent reason, others are convinced it's the ultimate depression-era escapism play.

[ULTA]: The "regard" thesis of the week: calls for the orange makeup everyone will need in Q2. It’s either a stroke of genius or a piece of crap store waiting to dump.

[NIO]: Every week, a new victim threatens a YOLO on this, convinced they’re finally making a profit. Narrator: They probably aren't.

[ADBE]: Earnings are coming and the consensus is to send it to the ground. With AI coding agents failing spectacularly, the SaaS-pocalypse is feeling very real.

[AVAV]: Drone warfare isn't going anywhere, and after a nasty drop, some are betting on weeklies in hopes they win back a major contract. It’s a dangerous week to play earnings, but when has that stopped us?

[PATH]: A "sleeper" play for the AI agent thesis, provided the world doesn't end this weekend. Though last year it apparently prolapsed some investors, so "steal" might be the wrong word.

[XLE]: While oil prices moon, energy stocks have been systematically shorted, creating a directional volatility trap that hasn't moved an inch despite the chaos.

[SPX]: Credit spreads are the new buffet for thetagang, assuming you enjoy picking up pennies in front of a nuclear-powered steamroller.

If the VIX keeps mooning and the Strait stays closed, we're all going to be eating sleep for dinner soon. Just remember: it’s only a loss if you sell, and it’s only a bubble until it prolapses your portfolio. If you're using Robinhood, God help your tax lots.

Stay thirsty for those 0DTEs,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management