HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Where your loss is our only baseline.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 06, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: War, Withdrawal Gags, and the Death Star TA

My Dear Fellow Degenerates and Future Inhabitants of the Wendy’s Dumpster,

If you’re reading this, it means you haven’t yet been liquidated by the current geopolitical dumpster fire. What a week. We’ve got unemployment rising, gas prices skyrocketing, and a new war in the Middle East that’s making 2006 look like a peaceful Sunday brunch. The "unexpected" jobs miss—a mere 92,000 payrolls lost—has the bulls huffing enough cope to expect rate cuts while the rest of us just watch the world burn. Here at Hindsight, we’re pivoting our strategy from "making money" to "trying to find where BlackRock hid our cash."

ORCL: Bearish sentiment is reaching terminal velocity as the "great scammer" Larry Ellison reportedly cancelled data center expansions with OpenAI. Some are betting the farm on puts because Oracle is apparently going to crash the market like it’s a personal hobby of the CEO.

BLK: Larry Fink has decided he’s protecting you from yourself by limiting withdrawals on his $26B private credit fund. Investors are getting 2007 vibes and worrying about a bank run, but hey, you can’t lose money if you can’t withdraw it, right?

WTI/UCO: Oil futures just pulled off the biggest gain in history since 1983, surging 35%. While some junkies refresh shipping updates for the Strait of Hormuz like it’s the Super Bowl, one special regard decided to sell naked calls into the mouth of a war. Godspeed to your unlimited risk, soldier.

MU: Micron is being hailed as the second-order AI play because GPUs are useless without massive amounts of memory. With HBM sold out through 2026, the DD suggests "balls to the wall" on calls, even if it feels like boom or bust all over again.

MRVL: The stock surged 18% because the CEO isn't blinking. Apparently, the Marvel Cash Universe is real, and the CEO's refusal to stutter about AI demand is enough to send the shorts into the iron mines.

NFLX: Netflix is apparently allergic to $100. While one gangster managed to sell off calls for a well-deserved payday, the rest of the sub is just wondering why the price action is so repulsive.

LASR: Forget fundamentals, we have Death Star TA. If the chart perfectly matches the laser beam from Star Wars, it must be headed to space. Between Protoss units and Jewish Space Lasers, this is the pew-pew stock we didn’t know we needed.

PATH: Some see an easy 30% gap up on high open interest, while others expect it to sink like 96% of every other play they’ve ever touched. The "regard thesis" is holding strong.

ASTS: A rare win for a trader who managed to time all three moves correctly this week. Of course, the sub is quick to remind them they just hit three 50/50s in a row and will likely be back at the dumpster by Tuesday.

SPY: The revenge trading is real. We’ve seen portfolios go from down 9k to up 2k in minutes on 0DTE calls. It works until it doesn’t, but for now, it’s like celebrating your first heroin hit.

LITE/COHR/VRT: Welcome to the Standard & Technology 500. These three were added to the index while SOFI baggies continue their eternal wait for a day that will never come.

UAN: Apparently, the fertilizer clan is outperforming everyone. 1000% gains since December because someone realized that the earth needs to be fertilized and the market is currently a giant pile of... well, you know.

If your portfolio is down 92,000% today, just remember: you're not alone, you're just diversified in losing. My advice? Take your remaining 6 bucks, buy a gallon of high-priced gas, and enjoy the fumes while we wait for the VIX to hit the stratosphere.

Yours in financial masochism,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management