HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy the top, cry at the bottom.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 04, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: The "Great Depression" of March 3rd and Other Delusions

Fellow Degenerates and Exit Liquidity Providers,

We’ve officially hit that magical point in the market cycle where the world is on fire, but the indices are flat as a pancake. While the Strait of Hormuz is playing hard to get, our portfolios are effectively acting as tax loss harvesting machines for the next decade. The consensus? If it has anything to do with oil, it’s green; if it involves brain activity, it’s drilling to the center of the earth. We are currently navigating a market so unreal that ADP's "best" job gains are widely regarded as fake news meant to pump a decaying bull run.

NVDA: Jensen Huang is busy polishing H100s to sell back to OpenAI while claiming his $30B investment is the last one. The sub is convinced this is a Ponzi scheme for billionaires before the IPO exit liquidity hits.

CBRL: For some reason, the "smart" money is loading up on chicken n' dumplings calls. It's the only hedge against geopolitical doom and the only stock where gravy is a catalyst.

AVGO: Set to report earnings, and the consensus is to buy puts because it’ll beat and still crash 15%. Naturally, because everyone expects a crash, calls is the play.

ASTS: The only stock that thinks an Iranian war is a casual bullish catalyst. It’s up 32% while everything else stays flat or dies on the vine.

MDB: Trading this "RPG term" resulted in either juicy 6k profits for the bears or becoming a long-term bagholder for the bulls. Either way, MongoDB sounds like slop.

WMT: Everyone is fucking confused why a grocery store has a tech-tier PE ratio. Apparently, selling ads on a website makes you a "platform" now—is the year 1999?

KOSPI: South Korea is getting obliterated on record margin calls, yet some absolute legend is playing 3x leveraged ETF calls because "K-pop is taking over." Bill Hwang it up, oppa.

PSKY: Paramount’s debt was downgraded to junk status after buying a competitor with money they didn't have. It’s toxic, it’s junk, but the Ellisons don't care as long as they control the propaganda.

BULL: A giant piece of shit that could find a cure for cancer and still go to zero. The bagholders are taking this one to the grave.

BTC: Shorting was "the move" for months until it absolutely wasn't. The "lunar new year" dip is over, and the pigs are officially at the slaughter.

GDX: Uncertainty is usually good for gold, but gold miners are a special kind of joke. Margin is calling Mayweather and he can't even read the screen.

SPY: While the bears made 40k profit at open, the bulls are losing 38k on calls with a hilarious $815 strike price. This is pure retardium.

OKLO: With Trump meeting tech giants to discuss the AI power grid, energy plays are back on the menu. If it glows and consumes massive amounts of electricity, it’s a buy.

If you take nothing else from this report, remember: never go full regard. Unless you’re trading the Dubai "crash" or buying into the hard drive bull market slop, you’re just providing exit liquidity for people who actually understand how the money printer works.

Stay leveraged or stay home,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management