HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy high, sell low, cry at the Wendy’s window.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: March 03, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: Strait of Whore-muzz & The Great Margin Call of '26

Salutations, fellow degenerates and liquidity providers.

Another day in this absolute shit show of a market where trading is like wiping with gas station TP—no matter what you do, there’s just shit everywhere. The general vibe is that it is so fucking over, mostly because the Strait of Hormuz is officially gay and insurance providers are noping out of the region. Meanwhile, our Commander-in-Chief is busy hosting AI back-slapping shindigs with the tech giants to discuss how much coal we need to burn to keep the bots alive. We’ve seen five months of gains go down the drain, and yet, the regards are still betting the farm on 0DTEs.

MU: The absolute frame mog of a play of the week involves a legendary/idiotic 480k YOLO on margin. Despite the stock tanking hard, our local hero reloaded and is riding till 500, proving that the best way to put out a car fire is with more gasoline.

SPY: The battle between Ayatollah SPY puts and overnight calls is raging. One guy put 106k into puts and closed for 40k profit before the market could pull a V-recovery.

PSKY: Paramount is officially PeSKY after its debt was downgraded to junk. "The name's Bond. Junk Bond." Naturally, because this market is a circus, the stock rose 30% on the news.

MDB: MongoDB is apparently an RPG term, and investors just lost their level 99 gear. It dumped 25% on soft guidance, leaving many as "long term MDB investors" (translation: bagholders).

AVGO: Sentiment is split between calling it a stellar company with a CEO who hates guidance and being morons buying calls. Most expect it to dump on the earnings call because that’s the "Hock Tan special."

GDX/GDXU: In a stunning twist, gold miners are falling when gold goes up. One regard bought GDXU on Friday and now thinks he was buying crypto. John Margin is currently calling.

CRWD: CrowdStrike actually obliterated earnings, proving that if you do the opposite of what software stocks usually do, this baby is going to run.

MRNA: Moderna agreed to pay $2.25B to settle patents and the stock jumped 10% after-hours. Because paying billions in fines is awesome for business according to WSB logic.

CBRL: Cracker Barrel is apparently the secret play. Why? Because they came out with a new variation of chicken n' dumplings. The entire market is hanging on these earnings.

NAT GAS: EU Natural Gas is up 40% today, leading Europeans to turn their thermostats down. Meanwhile, US Nat Gas is dumping, leaving BOIL call holders fuming.

AMD: "Advanced Money Destroyer." Like a crazy girl, she gives 11 seconds of pleasure followed by 18 months of depression.

VIX: Some lunatics are buying VIX puts 40 days out, because clearly volatility is a cold bitch that will definitely calm down while ships are being blown up.

TSLA/Mag7: Valuation premiums are at 2011 levels, meaning it's either a lifetime opportunity or an ouroboros of no real demand. Trump meeting the "Big Daddies" tomorrow should fix everything. Or not.

TGT: Target is an easy short since Walmart sold off and is the "much better company." If the bull market is a house of cards, Target is the basement.

ASTS: Everyone’s favorite space play stayed surprisingly flat, but the "regarded" are still holding 79c weeklies hoping for some "juicy PR."

Remember: money isn't real and we're all going to die anyway, so you might as well go full regard on some 0DTEs. If a mushroom cloud appears, just smile knowing the bears are finally fuk.

See you at the hotline,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management