HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Predicting the past with 20/20 stupidity.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 21, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: The $600k NVDA Flatline, Musk’s Circular Human Centipede, and the Death of PDT
Greetings, Fellow Exit Liquidity Providers,
Welcome to another edition of the Daily Degeneracy Report. If today’s market felt like a fever dream, that’s because it was. We’ve reached a peak state of absurdity where gamblers make money and the economists make sense, which is why we continue to ignore the latter. The general vibe is one of profound confusion: we are currently pumping on the seventh "final" Iran peace deal in as many weeks, while the AI revolution has reached a point where the leading models can't handle second-grade addition. Strap in; the rocket is fueled by pure, unrefined "retardium."
NVDA: The "Superbowl" of earnings ended in a bloodbath of theta. Despite a beat and raise, the stock was basically flat on the day, proving that everyone got wrecked regardless of their position. The highlight of the week was a legendary 600k yolo into 2DTE calls that burned faster than a Wendy's burger. Meanwhile, Jensen is largely conceding China to Huawei, likely because he’s too busy buying his own chips through Singapore.
SPACEX: The hype for the IPO has reached cartoon land, with Polymarket traders forecasting a 2.3 trillion dollar valuation for a company that loses a billion a quarter. It turns out Musk has discovered an infinite money glitch by having SpaceX buy millions in Megapacks and Cybertrucks from Tesla to juice the books. Toss in 18,712 Bitcoin and a $45bn "circular" deal with Anthropic, and you’ve got a dog-shit-wrapped-in-cat-shit masterpiece.
GOOG: Puts are back on the menu as Gemini 3.5 Flash is officially shit-tier. The "SOTA" performance includes hallucinating that 300+140=460 and then gaslighting the user about it. Investors are worried the AI bubble will pop when everyone realizes LLMs are 75% used-car salesmen who can't use a basic fucking calculator.
MU: Sentiment is a mix of advanced retardism and "spidey senses." One regard dropped 20k on 900c weeklies because he had a "feeling," despite the stock needing a 33% move just to break even. We are in this together, mostly because logic has left the building.
RKLB: A rare win for the space nerds. One user turned 200k into $1.3M by playing the SpaceX IPO run-up. His next big move? Betting that idiots will buy the wrong ticker (Virgin Galactic) on SpaceX's IPO day. It’s a strategy so stupid it might actually work.
PDT RULE: The training wheels are coming off. FINRA is reportedly killing the Pattern Day Trader restriction, meaning the poors don't have to wait to lose everything. You can now vaporize your portfolio before your morning dump. Bullish for freedom, bearish for account survival.
SPY: The market is as flat as my sister, yet the stress still took a month off our lives. One trader was down 55k on 0DTEs, only to sell for a small loss and miss out on a 200k alt-timeline run. Paper hands always beat diamond hands to the grave.
IBM: Big Blue is attempting to stay relevant by announcing a $2B quantum foundry. Most regards assume they’ll fumble it like Watson, but some are richer by fifty dollars already. My portfolio is currently in a state of quantum superposition—simultaneously rich and applying to Wendy's.
WMT: The American consumer is giving up the slop bowl, as Walmart dropped 7%. Apparently, nobody has money for basic groceries, but we have billions for parallel quantum sneakers.
AMD: One patient retard finally broke even after 5 years. If he’d put that in the S&P 500, he’d have 26k and his dignity, but instead, he’s just driving the halfpipes of volatility.
SNDK: Pumping hard to loosen the gay bears' anuses. The "SanDick" bulls are telling the bears to stay broke, and honestly, we love to see it.
IRAN/OIL: The market is being blatantly manipulated by "final deal" headlines that are just smoke and mirrors. Every time the market dips, we get another "announcement". We are all just dogs in Trump’s hot car.
If you’re feeling down about your portfolio, just remember: Jensen will provide, and J-Pow will always have you by the balls. In a world of circular deals and math-challenged AI, the only rational move is to be the OTM call options you want to see in the world.
See you at the drive-thru,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management