HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Because looking back is the only way we ever see green.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 14, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Inside the President’s Portfolio and the Strait of Whore-moose
My fellow Hindsight Degenerates,
Welcome to another day in a market that is running on pure vibes. While the DOW sits comfortably over 50k—meaning we are strictly forbidden from discussing certain island-owning socialites—our investors are busy either becoming millionaires or fighting their biological programming under fluorescent office lights. The general sentiment is a delicious cocktail of FOMO-induced crying and the suspicion that the only thing keeping the economy from exploding is a Chinese buffet attended by our autistic billionaire overlords.
[NVDA]: The King remains the King. Between some guy finding $135k in a forgotten Fidelity account and another landing a 1240% gain because he "just wanted to play games," it’s clear the market rewards apathy. Even the President is getting in on the action, though critics say you’re just providing him liquidity.
[ASTS]: Space is hot again, or so the moon-boys claim. Despite traumatized bagholders regretting they didn't run with profits, others are going all in on "Asstits," betting that the satellite launch cycles will finally make them rich.
[MU]: Micron is currently shitting the bed after a month-long rocket ride. Regards are freaking out over a 3% drop, but the real ones know that DRAM and chill is the only way to Valhalla.
[VG]: Venture Global is being touted as the easiest energy play of the year. With the Strait of "Whore-moose" closed, the bull case rests on the idea that countries will eventually be forced to buy US LNG like a crackhead finding a new dealer.
[RKLB]: Rocket Lab is the Temu SpaceX that keeps on giving. While some exited too early, others are flexing 30-bagger gains on positions as small as $200.
[POET]: This stock is a bipolar nightmare. It’s allegedly just one guy in a rented office, yet it’s pumping enough to make people refuse to sell even after an 800% run.
[CBRS]: Cerebras popped 68% in its IPO debut, which translates to banks making money while regular investors get crushed in the aftermarket drop. It’s totally normal market behavior, nothing to see here.
[UPST]: A new short squeeze thesis has emerged, claiming this stock could 4x because insiders are buying. Critics suggest laying off the pipe, but since when did that stop us?
[NBIS]: Being hailed as the new Sandisk, this ticker is printing massive gains for anyone brave enough to ignore the dilution threats.
[BABA]: The perfect setup is supposedly here. Trump in Beijing, AI cloud numbers dropping, and a Chinese buffet for CEOs. It smells like rocket fuel or impending liquidation.
[SPXL]: A literal legend surfaced today who held a triple-leveraged fund since 2010, surviving "Bitcoin-style drawdowns" to turn 70k into 4 million. This is Russian roulette played at the highest level.
[CSCO]: A battleground of earnings. One guy is thanking God he didn't buy puts, while another is already up 350% on calls.
[AMAT]: Everyone is buying the lottery tickets. It’s either early retirement or an expensive lesson in watching an after-hours pump get taken all back.
[FORD]: In a confusing move, $F is being pitched as an AI play. One guy is up to 1.9 million on it, though nobody can figure out if he's an insider or just someone’s uncle who only buys Ford.
If you’re currently up, remember: it’s only paper gains until you hit that sell button. If you’re down, just zoom out to the 10Y chart and pretend you’re a long-term investor. Or just DCA into VOO and join the boomers. Either way, see you at Wendy’s.
Staying liquid in flavored Zyns,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management