HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Where loss porn is the only real alpha.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 09, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Peak Retardation and the Great Bear Extinction

Dear Fellow Exit Liquidity,

The market is currently operating at a level of peak retardation that defies the laws of physics, logic, and my therapist's advice. While the macro-larpers scream about the economy being in shambles because we’re apparently just a nursing home with a data center attached, the indices are printing new ATHs every single day. It turns out throwing away logic is the only way to actually make money in 2026. If you aren’t fully torqued on call options, you’re basically donating your life savings to Jane Street’s record-breaking haul.

[MU]: Micron has transformed from a fidget spinner meme into a national security priority. Old-timers remember praying for $80, but now it casually jumps $100 like it’s nothing. With HBM sold out through 2026, we are essentially betting on a gold mine where the pickaxes are made of silicon and pure greed.

[INTC]: Intel is the comeback story nobody—especially this sub five years ago—wanted to see. We’ve got regards holding for life and absolute maniacs turning $8k into $600k on long-dated leaps. One guy even managed a 17,000% gain, proving that either insider trading is alive and well or God has a very specific sense of humor.

[RKLB]: Rocket Lab has saved the entire space sector from certain death. While we were mocking the "he's finished" posts yesterday, the 1DTE $90 calls went up 1500%. It’s a wild ride to Mars, and diamond hands are finally being rewarded with wife-changing money.

[SNDK]: SanDisk is riding the memory wave alongside Micron, prompting some to wonder if they cured Alzheimer’s in their spare time. It’s pure parabolic insanity, and missing the boat on this pump is currently the leading cause of clinical depression on the boards.

[AMD]: Our beloved Su-bae continues to deliver, though some of our more "talented" investors are retiring from options after selling naked calls right before a moonshot. Pro tip: maybe don't sell calls on a tech giant during a parabolic rally unless you want to spend the next six months snorting coke off a Thai ladyboy.

[ASTS]: Space is getting hot again, and despite a recent satellite fail, the bulls are loading up for huge gains. Some are even using ban bets to prove their conviction.

[HIMS]: If the market doesn't crash, it might be because the demand for boner pills is the only thing keeping us afloat. Investors are begging for someone to save their bags by shipping drugs directly to doorsteps.

[GOOG]: Google gave one lucky regard a 50x return, turning $1,200 into $51,000. It’s enough to make you want to quit the grind and buy a house, or at least a nice treat for supper.

[NBIS]: Sentiment is split between those expecting a beat and dump due to dilution and those hyping for more capacity. It’s the perfect gamble for those who find the casino too boring.

[GME]: Ryan Cohen is back at it, mentioning AI more than five times in an interview because he knows it's the only way to hallucinate value where none exists. Half CEO, half retard, he's the hero we deserve.

[FIG]: Software is trying to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, but the Figma balls jokes are the only thing keeping the bags light.

[BABA]: Still being pitched as having "shitton of potential," proving that hope is a drug more addictive than Zyn.

[OKLO]: People are literally identifying buildings on Santa Clara dr. to find the next play. If we're investing in thinking rocks, we might as well invest in nuclear.

[AMAT]: Apparently a "no brainer" for calls, because why would it ever go down?

[CSCO]: Cisco calls are cheap and riding the wave, even if most of us are too busy buying puts on Monday.com because their ads are annoying.

The bears are currently being erased from existence in what I can only describe as a war crime. Remember, you can't beat momentum, and being "smart" is the fastest way to become broke. Just keep depositing $2M and acting like a genius.

May your margin be generous and your spouse's boyfriend be kind,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management