HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Where Every Portfolio is a Speedrun to $0”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 02, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Nana’s Pride, San-Hulk-Dicks, and the Spirit of Bankruptcy
To my fellow Hindsight Global Degenerates,
The market is currently hitting all-time highs, yet most of you are still watching with a red port, which is impressive in its own way. We’ve entered a reality where the internet is just five websites and the economy is a legalized money printing operation for those lucky enough to guess right. While Warren Buffett looks on dressed like a Mississippi lesbian, calling our beloved 0DTEs "gambling," we know the truth: we are moulded by them. Whether you’re turning $35k into one million or blaming your newborn infant for a $140k fumble, your dedication to degeneracy remains our firm's North Star.
SNDK: This stock was $32 a year ago and now it’s hitting $1,200 like it’s the last helicopter out of ‘Nam. Some call it SanDisk; we call it San-Hulk-Dick. Shorting this is basically committing suicide at this point, as it continues its monster run despite everyone waiting for a collapse.
INTC: The Nana trade is finally printing, and she’s smiling down from the afterlife. While one genius dumped everything at $21 a year ago like an absolute regard, others are up 733% and refusing to take profits.
SAVE (Spirit Airlines): It’s over. The flying banana has been peeled. The ghetto airline is winding down operations after the rescue deal fell apart. Their hangars will soon be Spirit Halloween stores, providing more value than their actual flights ever did.
AMD: Some view Lisa Su’s brainchild as the Advanced Money Destroyer after its insane run-up, but one absolute madman is up $8,000,000 this month by using margin on 3x leveraged products. It's the kind of advanced level retardation we charge fees for.
WEN: Wendy’s earnings land on the same day as the unemployment report, which is hardly a coincidence considering half the sub will be applying for a shift there by noon. It's either calls or fries in the bag.
PLTR: Finally bankrolling retirements for those who held from the depths of despair. It’s either the most evil company ever or a gift from the tech gods—either way, we’re in.
TLT: A bold regard just YOLOd $14k on bond calls while admitting he knows nothing about bonds. We salute this peak retard move, even though it's almost certainly going to zero.
MSTR: Michael Saylor’s pic goes hard, but the portfolio is a Microtragedy for anyone who aped their 401k into it. If you believe the earth is flat, this is the ticker for you.
ARE: One of our resident REIT-tards dropped a $700,000 position on a biotech recovery thesis. It’s long, it’s boring, and it involves real estate assets, but at least he used more than three sentences.
SOUN: SoundHound is barking at the moon, up 15% in a single day and leaving everyone wondering what exactly it's doing today.
SHOO: Steve Madden shoes outperforming tech giants is the Wolf of Wall Street fever dream we didn't know we needed. Apparently, women's shoes are more resilient than AI chips.
Luxury/EU Cars: Trump is threatening 25% tariffs on European cars, meaning your dream of buying a Lambo with your puts just got 25% more expensive. Better stick to the rented one.
If you’ve made enough money to screenshot it, it’s time to sell. Otherwise, you’re just providing free yield for institutions who are farming your short-dated OTM calls like a digital cornfield.
Stay leveraged, stay delusional, and for the love of God, don't let your infant choose your trades.
See you behind the dumpster,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management