HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Our 20/20 Vision Only Works on Yesterday's Charts”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: April 20, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Tim Apple’s Resignation, Shroom Bets, and the Circular Jerk of AI

Listen up, you beautiful loss-porn enthusiasts,

The market is currently a dumpster fire of geopolitical fake news and irrational pumps that makes a roulette table look like a low-risk savings account. We’ve got bears screaming for help as the S&P 500 refuses to drop even 0.2%, while the rest of us play pharma roulette and pray for a blow-off top. Whether it’s Tim Apple hanging up his turtleneck or the PDT rule finally dying so poors can lose money with infinite volume, the degeneracy is at an all-time high.

AAPL: The era of Tim Apple is over as John Apple (John Ternus) takes the reigns. While some mourn the end of an era that saw a 10x return, the realists are just waiting for a subscription service for charging your phone or features Samsung had three years ago.

TSLA: Elon’s car company is being called a modern-day Enron, but regards are still loading calls because bad earnings are already priced in. If Musk mentions sex bots or folding the company into SpaceX, the stock is apparently headed to $1,000.

MSTR: Michael Saylor continues his infinite money glitch by buying billions in "the corn." Some call it a shitty Ponzi scheme where Saylor dilutes his investors to buy more bags, but the Giga YOLOs aren't stopping.

ASTS: The stock got nuked after Blue Origin “accidentally” dumped their satellites into the wrong orbit. Between Cramer being bullish and corporate sabotage rumors, ASTS holders are currently bleeding out.

UNH: Degenerates are setting money on fire with massive bets on UnitedHealth earnings. One 19-year-old trust fund kid dropped $216k on a coinflip, leading everyone else to buy puts out of pure spite.

INTC: The sentiment is simple: Intel always goes down. People are praying for nana while simultaneously loading puts, though some overloaded regards are still clinging to their $24 cost basis.

NFLX: After the earnings nuke, the loss porn is spectacular. Investors are selling for 7k losses while others believe it’s the literal bottom and a smart time to buy long-dated calls.

HOOD: Robinhood is apparently a household name again because some guy's barber has the card. With the PDT limit removal on the horizon, bulls are expecting skyrocketing earnings from all the new degenerate day-trading volume.

AMZN: Behold the AI circle jerk. Amazon invests $25B in Anthropic so Anthropic can spend $100B on AWS. It’s a circular nonsense machine designed to keep the bubble from popping.

SNDK: SanDisk joined the QQQ today after skyrocketing 30x in a year. Naturally, the strategy here is to buy high and pray it hasn't run out of fuel.

ZS: Zscaler is getting the FSLY treatment, trading at 52-week lows while bulls argue that AI agents will be its biggest catalyst yet. Of course, former users claim the software is garbage, making it a perfect WSB play.

CMPS: We’ve got a 10k "Perc Rodgers" shroom bet on Compass Pathways. It’s a classic pharma roulette move where regards are hoping for FDA priority vouchers to print tendies.

RKLB: Long Rocket Lab because Blue Origin is full of amateurs who can’t deliver a package to space. The RKLB gang is out in force, even if their rocket can barely lift your mom into orbit.

AMC: Someone is still buying the dip on a stock that is forever dipping. It’s essentially a donation to Adam Aron at this point, but hey, maybe popcorn technology will save us.

The market can be irrational longer than you can remain solvent. If your portfolio is in shambles, just remember: you can always retire into the woods so the debt collectors can’t find you.

See you at the Wendy's dumpster,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management