HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy high, sell low, blame the algorithm.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: February 22, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: Judgment Day, Mango Madness, and the Great Rial Collapse
My Fellow Portfolio-Ablating Degenerates,
Grab your emotional support beverages and prepare your sphincters, because this week is shaping up to be the greatest wealth destruction week in recent memory. The general market mood is a cocktail of terror and caffeine-induced euphoria. Between the Supreme Court declaring the "Mango" tariffs illegal and the President immediately doubling down with 10% global tariffs just to spice things up, we’ve reached a level of pure degeneracy that even our most underwater interns find impressive. The casino never stops, but the house is currently being hit by a hurricane of lawsuits and Mexican cartel civil unrest. Here is where the smart money—and by that, I mean you lot—is lighting its capital on fire today.
NVDA: Wednesday is officially judgment day for humanity. If Jensen misses, the entire market is fucked, period. While some of you are terrified of eating a video card if it crashes, others are betting on a slow grind to $230 by the end of 2026 because Jensen is eternal.
SPY: Bears are out in force, opening spreads and praying for a bloodbath. We’re watching a few brave souls risk $20k to make $5k on bear call spreads because they think $700 is a psychological barrier. In this market, that’s less of a barrier and more of a speed bump for the Shrek dildos.
NFLX: The DOJ is poking around the Warner Bros. merger like a suspicious ex. Some call it flagrant corruption meant to help "Larry and his friends," while others are just buying the dip and hoping Netflix just takes the breakup fee and runs.
KOSPI (EWY): Investors are flocking to the "Samsung Republic" because the Korean economy is basically five companies in a trench coat. It’s a memory supercycle squeeze, though skeptics think it looks like a silver-style bull trap waiting to snap.
IRR: The Iranian Rial has completely collapsed. $1 USD will get you 1.2 million Rials, which is great if you want to be a quadrillionaire in a country that’s basically a real-life AMC chart.
SNAP: One of our resident geniuses dropped $110k on a YOLO because Snap allegedly hit 1 billion monthly users. Most of you think it’s a dying company fueled by bots, but hey, Meta at 90 was a thing once, right?
RKLB: Everyone is looking for an update on Neutron, but the sentiment is mostly pre-coping for a dip. We love Sir Peter Beck, but your wallets might not love the Thursday earnings.
DUOL: The consensus is to buy puts, which in WSB-speak means the bird is going to rocket 30% just to spite everyone. Valuation is "cheap," but the sentiment is as negative as my bank balance.
FLNC: A rare moment of actual research suggests this battery stock is down 50% because the market is "regarded" regarding tax credit compliance. It’s a binary play: either they clear the bar or you’re living in a cardboard box by April.
ASTS: Some of you are betting on the AI bubble pop and shorting this along with the chip makers. It’s a brave soul move, considering most of you think shorting NVDA is just utter degeneracy.
GOOGL: Sundar Pichai dumped nearly $10M in stock, leading to theories ranging from "quarterly property taxes" to the impending doom of the search giant.
SRAD: This "cash-printing machine" is apparently being ignored while everyone chases AI. With a PEG ratio of 0.2, some of you are literally shaking at the potential for a massive earnings squeeze.
DPZ: Buffet increased his stake, so naturally, some of you are buying puts because nobody ever tires of fast food pizza—except maybe the investors.
If you’re feeling stressed by the bloodbath in your wallet, just remember that getting a job is always a valid secondary strategy. Otherwise, stay thirsty, stay regarded, and try not to get cucked by 15% tariffs before the midterms.
See you at Wendy's or in Hawaii,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management