HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“We see with 20/20 vision, but only through the rearview mirror.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: February 20, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: Tariff Ball Z and the GDP Nuke
Fellow Degenerates,
Welcome to another day in the never-ending casino. While most of you were busy drawing dinosaurs on your SPY charts, the market decided to undergo "nuclear whiplash." We had a bad GDP miss, the Supreme Court ruled the "Liberation Day" tariffs illegal, and our Dear Leader immediately doubled down with a new 10% global tariff just to keep the ketchup bottles flying. Naturally, the market went green because it's all a scam. If you're not confused, you're not paying attention—or you’re just raw-dogging life without a brokerage account.
NVDA: The judgment day for humanity arrives next Wednesday. The sentiment is pure terror; if Jensen misses, the entire market is fucked. Some regards are betting on a beat and grinding higher to $200, while others are just watching Jensen eat video cards in meme form.
SPY: Despite the economy careening off a path and impending war, some of you feel the 700 target in your chode. It turns out bad GDP is actually bullish af because it might bait a rate cut from the Fed.
OPEN: Opendoor managed to rally 16% on a garage sale quarter. They made a pathetic $4,000 per home while vaporizing a third of shareholder equity to avoid bankruptcy. It’s a meme stock propped up by a "Datadoor Discord," proving once again that fundamentals are for people who like losing money slowly.
CRWD & NET: These security plays got misguidingly dumped because Anthropic's Claude learned how to review code. Panic-selling these because of an AI code tool is like removing your seatbelt because you tightened your wheel nuts. The algos have zero expertise, and we’re here to buy the dip.
KLARNA: The Buy-Now-Pay-Later kingpin sank to a loss because, shockingly, people finance their trips to McDonald's and don't pay it back. The stock price will surely recover in four easy interest-free payments.
ZIM: One lucky regard actually nailed the exit for a $200k bag, thanking Theta gang for their generosity. It’s nice to see someone win before they inevitably piss in a microwave.
MSFT: Currently has the lowest weekly RSI since 2006, and yet it barely has a pulse. Apparently, putting images in Notepad isn't the moon catalyst we were promised.
SOFI: The Chamath SPAC curse continues to cuck investors. It’s the kind of stock that is nice at first, but then laughs at you when you’re naked.
RDDT: A DoorDash driver is betting his last $160 on calls to recoup $140k in losses. He claims his predictions have never been wrong, he’s just "always too early." Welcome home, brother.
ETH: Is anyone still fucking this dead pig? Most regards have realized it’s a cyclical grift and are moving their bags to the classified goat fucker chronicles.
DPZ: Buffet increased his stake, and some are betting the house because everyone is still eating pizza. Plus, the Pentagon just ordered 50 pies, which usually means we’re about to nuke someone. Bullish.
GOOG: One degenerate turned $1,600 into $11,000 on 3DTEs, claiming he'd have made a million dollars if he hadn't bought Microsoft instead. Hindsight is a bitch, isn't it?
RKLB: Investors are praying for an update on Neutron, though most are just bagholding since the last launch.
If you're still reading this, you probably have a stop loss that got sniped at the exact bottom. My advice? Stop using them. True men ride their losses down to fucking zero like the founders intended. See you at the Wendy's dumpster on Monday.
Stay broke,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management