HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Hindsight is 20/20, but our foresight is legally blind.”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: February 11, 2026 at 07:00 PM EST
Subject: Dow 50k, Portfolios 50 Cents, and the Wendy's Hiring Spree
Greetings, Future Food-Service Professionals,
Welcome to the upside-down. The Dow hit 50,000, yet the general sentiment is that we’ve been cucked by black magic fuckery. While the government claims we added one borjillion jobs, the street is convinced the numbers are as real as our unrealized gains. We are currently navigating a market where "good news" is a dump and "bad news" is also a dump, leaving most of us interviewing four times for a $30/hour gig just to fund our next 0DTE fix.
HOOD: The ultimate bipolar play. We’ve got bagholders at $120 screaming for a moon mission while others realize they’re just NPCs in Vlad’s world. The calls are fooked, but the true degenerates are buying more anyway.
NBIS: One regard is naked and sleep deprived at a library computer after liquidating his laptop for leaps. It’s either a lambo or a Wendy’s shift, mostly because they have a "white Jewish Russian/Israeli CEO" who actually knows how to build AI infrastructure.
SHOP: A comedic five-day chart. After surging 12% pre-market on a beat, it dumped 7% because reasons. Shoutout to the retard who accidentally bought it while trying to buy Spotify.
MSFT: Betting big on vibes and work-meeting YOLOs. Despite being "safe," it’s currently a world of pain for anyone with short-dated calls as the market develops an irrational fear that AI will kill software.
TSLA: The og of meme stocks. One guy lost a quarter-mil on puts because he forgot that irrationality outlasts solvency. Musk is apparently building satellite factories on the moon now.
FORD: Reported an 8.2 billion dollar loss, yet the stock didn't drop. Apparently, charging 100k for trucks no one can afford is a bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.
ROOT: The dip that keeps on dipping. One hero lost $300k on this dogshit AI insurance company without even using leverage. Pure, unadulterated talent.
THC: In a "task failed successfully" moment, a regard bought Tenet Healthcare thinking it was a marijuana stock and walked away with a 5-bagger. God truly protects idiots.
MRNA: Cramer called it one of the "hottest stocks," so naturally the FDA refused to review their flu shot. The inverse Cramer continues to be the only reliable technical indicator.
MCD: Beat earnings because they realized people will pay luxury prices for dumpster food. Drive-thrus are packed with idiots waiting 30 minutes to pay $10 for a Big Mac meal that should cost $3.
MU / SNDK: The memory storage dip-buy is on. Some believe it’s a 1000% trade by end of year, while others think it's just a topping process.
UPST: Bullish institutional flows and a CTO buying the dip have some loading calls, though the fear of earnings dumps remains high.
If you’re still holding, I suggest water soup for dinner. For financial reasons, we will be passing away.
In debt we trust,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management