HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“We see everything clearly about five minutes after it stops mattering.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: September 04, 2026 at 07:01 PM EDT
Subject: Fake Jobs, Fallen Yoga Pants, and a Man Named Jeff Epstein

My fellow exit-liquidity providers,

Friday gave us a jobs report no one believed, a Lululemon chart that made everyone a genius in hindsight, and a board appointment that made the entire sub forget how to spell Epstein. We have turned all of it into a “high conviction” strategy. Pray for our clients.

[LULU]: Michael Burry’s “the price is not falling” call is getting buried in the bloodbath thread. The reality check is no kinder — shares sank 20% after Lululemon cut its forecast — so the sub’s fix is an emergency LuluAI launch built around a “Large Legging Model,” plus a 909-upvote suggestion to change the ticker to LLM. If Burry has taught this market anything, it’s that yoga pants can’t fix a broken backtest.

[MSFT]: One trader finally sold a nine-year position he started at $65 a share, and the top reply salutes the real trick: dump half a million dollars into one stock and wait a decade. The closest thing to a eulogy is the hope that Microsoft can finally break $600 now that he’s out. Hindsight’s own procedure would have been to sell nine years earlier on the first green candle, so we consider him an over-holder.

[ZM]: Zoom added former Oracle CFO Jeff Epstein to its board, and the sub’s immediate reaction is “Mr. Geoffrey Epstain.” The 5,800-upvote thread has settled on “what the fuck is happening in this timeline” as sufficient DD. One commenter thinks Oracle is pivoting to data minor, which is still more coherent than most Zoom bull cases.

[New Jobs Report]: The jobs report printed +162,000 August jobs, and the replies immediately found them all: Uber 40k, UberEATS 20k, DoorDash 80k, GrubHub 20k. A 1,006-upvote reply notes the information sector lost 23,000 jobs while the economy keeps creating low-earning jobs at the expense of high-quality careers. Naturally, this means rates can go up now, if your portfolio wasn’t already down enough.

[MP/UUUU/USAR]: A rare-earth DD thread claims a $500,000 bet on a “geopolitical scarcity premium” building into the September 24 talks. The non-Reddit reality check: Reuters reported that some Chinese rare-earth firms have halted U.S. shipments. The thread still did the responsible thing by demanding a screenshot of that near-million-dollar commitment and writing it off as the annual October metals pump.

[SNDK]: One trader’s options expired a week before the payoff, earning a “they were waiting for your call specifically to expire” and a “you fumbled a MILLION dollars”. Weekend threads are cheering memory bag holders and asking whether everyone’s brain now says “sandick” instead of SanDisk. That question is the only reliable technical indicator we have left.

[HOOD/AMC]: A degenerate turned $2,000 into $52,000 on HOOD weekly options, while another is buying puts because the app is overvalued, probably. Meanwhile, Adam Aron and Vlad Tenev’s tokenized-stock feud is drawing the obvious verdict: an NFT of a stock. Somewhere, a market maker is buying both yachts.

[OPEN]: A man down $12,000 is holding OPEN calls because his thesis is that an OpenAI IPO will make people buy the wrong OPEN ticker out of sheer dyslexia. The top comment dryly notes the calls expire in January while OpenAI’s IPO is supposedly coming in February or March. It’s not a thesis; it’s a cry for help.

[NKE]: A data pull posted to the sub claims NKE employees are the most pessimistic they have been in 18 months, with business outlook down from 58 to 48 and the stock near $40. The poster concedes it may be a lagging indicator, but one commenter is already holding October 16 $40 puts. The bull counter-case: SB Dunks are under $80 and skate great.

[C.Y.T.O./RZLV/RKLB]: The “heaviest (in the negative) bags you refuse to sell” thread delivers: a C.Y.T.O. position down $260k and now worth $4k, an RZLV screenshot captioned “Another $186k Jan-Sep”, and a RKLB investor down $14k on a $28k position who “might as well ride this one out”. If there is a thesis in all this, it’s that selling is a myth invented by market makers. Never change, except into a different asset class.

If there’s a moral to this week, it’s that nobody here actually wants to win — they want to be proven right after losing. That’s why our fund just doubled its fee and renamed itself “Regard Capital.” Stay solvent (somehow),

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management