HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
"We only invest in what we should have bought yesterday."
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: August 19, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Cancer Cured, Market Still Broken, Trading Hours Somehow Longer
My fellow exit-liquidity providers,
The market opened with a cure for cancer, hit a 23-hour trading announcement, and then the Treasury decided to buy its own bonds like a lonely guy at a bar buying himself a drink. It's going to be one of those weeks.
MRNA: Moderna and Merck's melanoma vaccine hit its late-stage main goal, and the stock delivered a +170% day that one commenter cannot remember for a company of this size. A $70k bag of calls tied to the hantavirus "outbreak" turned into $632k overnight, while someone who bought over 1,000 8/21 65c last Friday is allegedly north of $5m. We got a cure for cancer before GTA VI, and the SEC has already been pinged.
MRNX: The 2x MRNA ETF let someone long MRNX @ $93.05 wake up $28k richer, though commenters watched the unrealized gains drip down in real time. Another regard scalped MRNA 31 times for $32.6k and was told he could have just held, which is the most WSB insult of all time. Somewhere in the daily thread, someone asked to be woken up when Moderna cures retardation—the only catalyst still missing.
FED/TREASURY: Fed minutes showed officials saw the need for a rate hike if inflation doesn't cool, and the replies ranged from they're not hiking shit to inflation is not calming lmao. Then the Treasury started buying back long bonds with shorter-dated debt, prompting the timeless printer go brrrrrrr, while one pedant reminded us the Fed isn't even the one printing. We passed $40 trillion in debt, and the maturity wall is now visible from space.
NASDAQ: The exchange is going to nearly 23-hour trading five days a week by December 6, and the sub is already asking for subsidized cocaine because the 5PM reprieve on red days is being cancelled. The janitors get one hour to sweep up, liquidity will allegedly RIP, and the consensus is literally the dumbest shit I have ever heard. I'm in. That about covers the entire WSB business model.
NKE: Nike's plunge is relentless, so the top advice is a data-center/AI pivot because that's how you fix a sneaker company in 2026. One regard bought 40.5/41 calls off a ban bet and sold for a 3x, while another sees an AMD-style bottom because "Advanced Money Destroyer" eventually went up over 300%. The remaining bears just want to know who's buying $100 sweatpants.
MRVL/GOOGL: Marvell gave Google an option to buy up to $12.2 billion in shares in a custom AI chip deal, a move CNBC called a 10% pop and WSB dismissed as "6%??! What is this? A pop for ANTS?". The other accepted DD was buying MRVL calls because Spider-Man is breaking records, which is honestly more coherent than half the earnings thread. Someone's puts went poof in the crossfire, so at least the market is fair.
SK HYNIX: SK Hynix is canceling 40 trillion won in treasury shares and promising over 50% of cumulative FCF to shareholders by next year, which is the rare buyback that might actually buy back. The sub notes "SK Hynix, sell high buy low. Shareholders, buy high sell low," and everyone who got liquidated over the last two months will be pissed when this rips up to 3 million won again. If you want in, know that the ADR trades at a 40% premium to the Korean shares, so maybe just learn Korean.
UNITREE: Unitree popped 542% in its Shanghai debut, and WSB's immediate reaction was this mf will be sprinting towards soldiers with 5 kg of C4 soon plus the inevitable when sex robot?. One veteran says the humanoid industry is so dishonest it makes Nikola blush—demos are canned or remote-controlled, and he's been kicked by one. Tesla's Optimus is presumably still in a cupboard somewhere.
OPENAI: OpenAI's CFO told employees it will be public in 2027 or sooner, and the designated exit liquidity replied Retail, hold this bag!. The sub is calling it a Ponzi scheme, predicting it will crash faster than SpaceX, and noting Chinese models are already knocking. One regard is buying $OPEN at a discount, which is not a real ticker but is a perfect summary of this sub.
SNDK/CRWV/QQQ: A self-proclaimed genius posted an Infinite Money Glitch involving naked puts on CRWV, SNDK, and the QQQ, claiming a 5x week off the late-afternoon derisking pattern. The comments responded Feeding this straight to the algos so it stops working immediately and you spelled 'I got lucky a few times and think I'm a genius' wrong. Meanwhile, a guy who skipped MRNA to lose money on SNDK is the reason this report exists.
HD/KLAR/LOW/TGT/BABA/WMT: The weekly earnings thread's most upvoted "DD" was HD down, KLAR puts, LOW puts, TGT flat, BABA puts, WMT calls, with the source cited as "autism and vibes." The mods posted an earnings date for a $46MM market cap company with 127 employees, which technically violates their own $500MM rule. Elsewhere, calls on BJs and John Deere gonna beat because a commenter's dad is a farmer—truly the fundamentals WSB was built on.
META: One regard posted a Getting Zucked loss, and the top comment thanked them for making a 4k call loss feel better. Another consolation was "gains are temporary, screenshots are forever," and someone else pointed out the loss could have bought a 911. A commenter screamed about stop losses, which is the WSB equivalent of asking a fish to ride a bicycle.
Today's takeaway: the market will cure cancer, cancel 40 trillion won, and extend trading to 23 hours, and you will still find a way to lose money on SNDK puts. The only infinite money glitch is the friends we made while missing the open. See you tomorrow at 9:30—or, starting in December, basically whenever.
Stay solvent (somehow),
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management