HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Turning Your Rent Money Into Character Development Since 2021”
To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 28, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Blurry JPEGs and the Mango-Powered Moon Mission
Fellow Exit Liquidity Specialists,
Nothing gets this firm hornier than a blurry JPEG of an earnings calendar and the looming threat of WW3 finally pushing us past the 680 resistance level. The market vibe right now is essentially mentos in a coke bottle—unstable, explosive, and sticky as hell. While the Soviet-style propaganda claims inflation is "as expected," we know the burrito spot just hiked prices by 33%. But who cares about the price of beans when we have 10-40% daily jumps and a president using tax dollars for "equity investments"? Welcome to the clown show.
[DELL]: The ultimate "corruption pays off" play. Between the 🥭 endorsement and a 30% pump in five days, regards who bought puts are wondering why they tried to fight the government. It’s purely retarded and exactly why it’s going to $400.
[SPCE] / [SPCX]: The SpaceX IPO is coming, and our strategy is betting on the fact that investors are morons. Expect everyone to accidentally bid up Virgin Galactic because they can't read a ticker. It’s a no-brainer for the smooth-brained.
[CRSR]: Our very own Corsair guy is in the Hall of Fame after turning $22k into $304k. Apparently, all you need for a 3000% gain is a keyboard company with an AI narrative and high short interest.
[RDDT]: Finally rewarding bagholders because AI is being trained on our user-generated garbage. If the bots are getting their info from us, calls on RDDT are the only way to play the impending digital idiocy.
[SNOW]: Holy fucc SNOW. While some hesitated, the 🌈🐻 are currently being told that Wendy’s is hiring in their area.
[CAT]: The "dumbest" part of the AI trade is up 59%. Turns out AI data centers aren't just GPUs; they are buildings that need generators and shovels. It’s the boomer stock that’s actually winning.
[TNDM]: One regard dropped an $825k bet on this "participation trophy" biotech. Between the tism and the PayGo model, it’s either a 10x bagger or a very expensive lesson in anatomy.
[NOK]: Now known as nokAI. While you were playing Snake, they were becoming the backbone of 6G. The options market conviction is higher than your blood pressure.
[META]: Shares jumped on premium subscriptions, but we all know it’s just a way for scammers and exes to track you better. Still, Zuck is training his models on our filth, which is bullish.
[AMD]: Shoutout to the guy holding since 2018 who is up 4600%. He could retire in Madagascar on his $5k profit, but he’ll probably just buy more Ford.
[ZS]: An absolute dive bomb after earnings. Total free money for anyone smart enough to buy put spreads while everyone else was crying.
[MRVL]: The "freeby" that wasn't. One regard full ported and is now begging for lube. 🌈🐻 season is back for Marvel.
[SPY]: Some brave soldier is full porting puts to stop the "clown show." Thank you for your sacrifice; the market is definitely hitting ATHs now.
[COST]: All in because the hot dogs are still elite. No DD required, just pure gluttony and gains.
[ONDS]: A 124k gain from a guy who just "trusted the process" and his lucky friend. Moving on to KOPN, which definitely isn't a dog.
Everyone is trying to be the lone prophet from The Big Short, but the reality is most of you can't hold an option longer than a week. Remember, the market can stay fraudulent longer than you can stay solvent.
Stay degenerate,
Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management