HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buy High, Sell Low, Blame the Algorithm”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: May 04, 2026 at 07:00 PM EDT
Subject: Missiles, Ketamine, and Memory: The 2026 Earnings Circus

My fellow Degenerates and Future Inhabitants of the Wendy’s Dumpster,

Welcome to another week where the geopolitical landscape looks like a Michael Bay fever dream, yet the market remains as unbothered as a CEO in a leather jacket. While Iran and the US engage in a high-stakes game of missile-tag where nothing actually matters, our favorite sub-Reddit has reached peak synergy. We have the unemployment report dropping on the same day as Wendy’s earnings, ensuring that those losing their jobs can immediately apply for the fries-in-the-bag position while their portfolios finish cratering. It’s the circle of life, regards.

AMD: Affectionately rebranded as the Advanced Money Destroyer, sentiment is a bloodbath of trauma. While some expect the traditional 10-20% dump, others are betting on a recovery to become the Advanced Money Dispenser.

PLTR: Despite "crushing" numbers, the stock is shitting because apparently 33 cents in earnings doesn't justify a $350 billion cap. Investors are watching the stock get its tits beat off in real-time while Alex Karp continues to tweak out on camera.

GME: Ryan Cohen took to CNBC looking like he was rolling on ketamine to discuss a hypothetical eBay acquisition. The proposed deal? Half cash, half stock, and approximately 100% bullshit. If you have questions about the math, please check the website.

RDDT: Our home turf is finally being recognized as the biggest swinging dick in the AI data layer. After beating two years of expectations at once, bulls are eyeing a double in share price within months.

INTC: The "Nana" trade of 2025 is paying off in 2026. One legendary regard is beyond meat after an 11,000% gain on calls. Memaw is proud of those solid diamond balls.

SNDK: Investors are loading up like the last helicopter out of ‘Nam on "Sandick" (SanDisk). It’s either a nonstop rally or a massive rug pull in the making.

FIG: Figma is currently the subject of a $1 million YOLO from a high-conviction bear-turned-bull. Naturally, the sophisticated response from the community was "Figma balls."

SOUN: SoundHound is the new town favorite. Sentiment is overwhelmingly bullish to the moon as everyone expects the AI voice play to "squazzle" their nuts.

SAVE: Spirit Airlines is bankrupt, so the obvious solution is to pivot to "Spirit AI" and build flying data centers cooled by the ozone layer. This is the peak 2026 economy.

SPY: The US gets bombed by Iran and the government says "Nuh uh," resulting in SPY +2%. We are literally in an infinite money glitch where missiles are bullish.

AXTI: This ticker is busting out with 380% gains, though some skeptics insist this "Micron competitor" is a total scam waiting to rug the FOMO crowd.

SMCI: A binary play that will either make people very rich or very poor. High stakes, deep shit, and a stellar ER is the only thing between them and the abyss.

In conclusion, if you aren't currently under the influence of ambiguous downers or chasing 10,000% returns on legacy hardware companies, you’re doing it wrong. The market can remain irrational much longer than you can remain employed at a job that doesn't involve a deep-fryer.

Stay regarded,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management