HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Where 'Too Soon' is Our Only Investment Strategy”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: February 07, 2026 at 02:00 PM EST
Subject: The "I Swear I Bought the Dip" Weekend Update

Greetings, you beautiful, soon-to-be-homeless degenerates,

It’s been an exceptional shake out week that managed to age us all ten years in five trading days. While the DOW hits all-time highs, retail traders are being decimated in a market that makes less sense every week. We are staring down a week of boring as fuck earnings, where the only thing being flushed faster than the 🌽 is your retirement fund.

[HIMS]: The FDA decided to finish HIMS by cracking down on copycat GLP-1s. Apparently, not even their dick pills could give the stock a boner after-hours, as it plummets on news of a DOJ referral.

[RDDT]: Welcome to Redardit, the only stock where blowout earnings lead to a total sell-off. We have legends out here losing on shares, calls, and puts simultaneously. It's a triple play of failure.

[MSTR]: Up 26% after a $12B loss. Michael Saylor is basically running a $1.25 trillion hall of mirrors while investors buy the top like there's no tomorrow.

[TSLA]: Elon is back to his empty promises with a megamerger involving SpaceX and xAI. Despite being vaporware and ketamine-fueled dreams, the consensus is calls it is.

[QQQ]: One brave regard turned $300 into $16,000 and full ported into Monday calls. He’s ready to meet the theta monster at the open.

[NBIS]: The AI savior that everyone is praying will save their portfolios. Its 1-year chart is insane, which obviously means it's sustainable.

[HOOD]: Bears are buying puts on HOOD while bulls think it's set up for a rally. It's the ultimate casino showdown.

[WEN]: Mentioned more than CPI, specifically for those of us polishing our applications to work behind the dumpster.

[SLV]: The silver train is picking up steam, though trading it feels like throwing darts with a blindfold on due to massive IV.

[GDRX]: Apparently a front for TrumpRx, leading to degenerate strategies like ASS TO MOUTH calls.

[APP]: A few users made six figures last year, but now they're worried the market won't care about their report.

[SHOP]: Everyone is wondering if it can tank anymore or if it’s just a black hole for boomer capital.

[BULL]: Investors are panic rotating or holding for recovery, despite the fact that sentiment is negative.

In conclusion, bears sound smart, but bulls make money. Go touch some grass or smoke it—just stay away from the charts until Monday resets your misery.

May your calls be ITM and your wife's boyfriend be generous,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management