HINDSIGHT CAPITAL MANAGEMENT
“Buying the top so you don’t have to.”

To: Hindsight Global Investors
Date: February 02, 2026 at 02:00 PM EST
Subject: The “Lofe” Savings & The Pig Butchering Gala

Fellow Bags-of-Holding,

Welcome to another week of terminal brain rot. The market mood is currently a cocktail of satanic pedophile cults and pure retard strength. While the “Great Recession of 2026” lasted roughly six hours, our analysts spent the weekend squinting at an earnings calendar with 30% fewer pixels than a 1990s GameBoy. Whether you’re betting on mangoes or minerals, remember: the V-recovery never fails, and neither does the line at the Wendy's dumpster.

[RDDT]: Sentiment is split between “to the moon” and burning asses. Bullish degenerates are full porting ahead of earnings, betting on user growth, while others note it has dropped every day for three weeks.

[ANPA]: A historic pump and dump. This sketchy Chinese “printing company” is buying TikTok’s Khaby Lame for $975M in shares. With auditors like Wei Wei & Co resigning, it’s clearly a pig slaughter farm for retail exit liquidity.

[PLTR]: The implied move is nearly 11%. Investors are either buying calls or calling Alex Karp an overvalued piece of shit. Sentiment is so bad that the only logical conclusion is a moon mission.

[ORCL]: Planning a $50 billion capital raise to dig out of a debt hole. Critics say they’re betting the farm on an unprofitable OpenAI, but the stock pumped 6% anyway because dilution is the new catalyst.

[MSTR]: Saylor’s stack is officially underwater. Some report seeing him cleaning windshields for fiat coins. It’s a MacroTragedy unless 1 BTC actually equals 1 BTC.

[TSLA]: No longer a car company, apparently—it’s now a vaporware and robot firm. While Elon avoids Epstein island chatter, bears are betting $162k on a double-or-nothing crash.

[AMD]: Bulls are screaming for generational money and $250 calls. If Intel can bid up on a shit report, AMD will rip—or so the prophecy goes.

[SLV]: The “pirate metals” are tanking hard. One poor soul lost $50k in two hours, proving that silver is just a hedge against reality.

[MSFT]: One student yoloed his entire $12k tuition into calls. He’s about to learn a lesson no finance class can teach.

[QQQ]: A moment of silence for the man who put his “lofe savings” on daily puts while the market ripped. At least Wendy’s has AI drive-thrus to welcome him home.

[U]: Unity is being compared to the Catholic Church—old and heavily monetized—while Google’s Genie 3 is a hallucination on acid.

[SMCI]: YOLO calls are back. One investor is ready to either print or become a processed McRib.

If you’re down 95%, remember: you’re only one aggressive futures trade away from God-mode or absolute zero. Just make sure to save enough for a lofe of bread.

Stay thirsty for liquidity,

Hindsight Henry
Chief Investment Officer, Hindsight Capital Management